I’m on my honeymoon right now (woo woo!), so here’s a bunch of “hacked” Shortpacked! strips from 4chan that I found and saved to my hard drive about three years ago.
I’m on my honeymoon right now (woo woo!), so here’s a bunch of “hacked” Shortpacked! strips from 4chan that I found and saved to my hard drive about three years ago.
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑

What is it with 4chan and swallowing?
We just want a little bit of ourselves in other people
they dont have good gag reflexes, probably. they need to ask they’re collective moms..
Clearly you know all about that…
I half expected a nickel line to follow this.
its b/c mom’s of *channers are not worth a nickle. you cant find a low enough american coin for they’re mom, and i dont have any canadian pennies (though it probably would take REAL money to pay them). i wonder how many people i just insulted…
….I don’t get it. Where’s the punchline?
That Ethan has apparently never seen a plastic cup before.
Who needs punchlines when you can “prove” someone “wrong” by dressing up your own subjective opinion as fact?
Probably some fanboy’s internet commentary that replaced the original text.
Or, what DRM said later in this thread.
I like how nothing was changed until panel 5.
I guess the joke here is that the fan/shopper was actually being reasonable, and Ethan couldn’t handle it?
The joke is partly that the customer is being reasonable, and partly that in the original, the customer makes the same comment about “cheap, orange plastic”, but in the later panels is clearly talking nonsense, which is why Ethan turns to drink.
Basically, Willis is running cartoons that have been hacked to say his original points were wrong, which is very good-spirited of him.
You have to remember, these were made to mock Shortpacked!/Willis, not to actually be funny.
I think the shopper was still being stupid, just less stupid. The punchline was that there is no such thing as translucent plastic…which there is such thing as technically since you can have clear plastic, you can tint the clear plastic…but that’s not really what the guy is talking about. :S
Uh… virtually all thermoplastics (plastics which melt rather than burn when heated) are translucent to SOME degree, not just transparent plastics, although this will be more obvious the thinner they are (cheap white plastic [polythene] bags are easiest to see this with since they’re particularly thin – put your hand behind it, and they’re opaque; but hold one up to a lamp and put your hand between the two and you’ll see a clear shadow. Translucent = lets light through; as opposed to transparent = clear).
The thing is, even if you know why the editor put that line at the end it still isn’t funny. The editor has a way of painting anyone who supports Hasbro as mindless plebeians too dumb or deluded to admit they’re being screwed. Thus, the implication is that Ethan doesn’t want to accept the idea that this Transformer plastic is cheap crap, so he completely denies that it exists.
The hell are you talking about? “It isn’t funny” is your opinion. I personally found it hilarious. Get your head out of your ass, Flash.
Wait, wait, wait. How about you say your opinion, and let the other person say theirs, without devolving to informing them that their head is up their ass for having a different opinion to you on something entirely subjective?
It’s a novel thought, I know. Not being a dick to someone who disagrees with you? *GASP*
The “joke” here is that orange plastic really is cheap and the only reason Ethan thinks otherwise is that David Willis is the devil for using logic on the editor’s whining.
Orange Plastic is “cheaper” but not cheap-cheap.
Cheap is Black since that can use any old regrind crap swept off the shop floor and still be black. Unfortunately it also tends to a lot more brittle but who cares if you save a few bucks per pound on raw materials?
Aaaaad … that’s totally off the subject…. =P
I wish these hacked comics had links to the originals for comparison!
Or that the comics were transcribed so you could just search by random dialogue, such as “Cheap orange plastic”.
But that can be quite time consuming.
The tear in Ethan’s eye was a nice touch.
Where’s all the “LET ME CRY DADDY” edits?
http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/1277/1221342643083.jpg
http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/7252/1221341349006.jpg
I saved these two but I know there are COUNTLESS more.
Over the years that the author has flooded 4chan with his wailing about this “Playskool plastic”, he has once in a while posted images that purport to show the difference between that plastic and the kind he wants. It makes me think of those people who insist that their ear can tell the difference between lossless sound quality and anything else.
you mean lossless after compression, or lossless because of the absence of compression? I can totally ear the difference between compressed and uncompressed sound, and you know why? I better ear subs than most people and less ear the rest of the spectre than the avergae people. Subs, and highs upon 20Khz are what tends mostly to disappear during compression – even analogic. It doesn’t mean it is really useful, because not so many trackes are correctly mixed, mastered and rendered.
Would you prefer I use a different example? There are probably plenty of analogies out there related to devoting a large extra amount of resources to making a difference that most people aren’t going to notice unless you walk them through it.
How about people who claim to be able to tell the difference between tea that had the milk added first and tea that had the milk added last?
When you add the milk first, it brings the temperature of the boiling water down, so the tea doesn’t steep as well. I wait until the tea is fully steeped before adding the milk. I don’t know if there is a taste difference, but it will certainly take longer to steep if the temperature of the liquid it is steeping in has been lowered by adding milk.
Oh, no no no! If you live in a hard water environment, putting the milk in last can cause filmy segments to form on top of the tea. Putting the milk in first avoids that.
It’s also harder to get the strength right when you put the milk in second, I find. Tsk, people eh? They can argue about anything?
As another example, an awful lot of people have no idea if they’re watching something in HD. Now, I’m sure most people here can, but for a large portion of the general public they go out and buy a HD TV and then assume that everything they watch is in HD. It drives me mad. But if they can’t tell the difference, does it really matter?
What were we talking about again?
Plastic Japanese food, I think. By way of brewing tea, by way of lossless sound, I think maybe waaaaaaaaaay the heck up there was something about beer or toys.
Now hedgehogs armed with lasers, I could track the conversation, but for this… I skim the comments like the wings of a toad.
You can *definitely* tell the difference between lossless and mp3 quality compression, provided that your speakers are halfway decent. Especially if the bitrate is low. 320bit AAC or ogg gets closer to CD quality, but you can still notice differences depending on the song.
Maybe, but that’s a far cry from “lossless is the only acceptable way to enjoy music, anything else is utter crap and I will berate you for using it,” which is the point of view most analogous to the one held by the “cheap orange plastic” crowd.
Trouble with the comic is that, unlike the long-standing argument between the sound quality of vinyl, CD and MP3 (which is reasonably well known), the arguments on “orange plastic” seems to be something specific to 4Chan (who I don’t read). So while this might be funny if you read 4Chan (and probably is), the comic just leaves me baffled. Does he mean the plastic container or the plastic toy itself?
Honestly I should’ve specified that the reason I mentioned the audio quality example is because I thought people were familiar with elitism from certain folks in the camp of the upper-upper-end formats. I’ve had people say to me that true fans perceive and/or care about those kinds of subtleties. But it’s looking like that’s not a common experience for people at all. I admit, I made a shitty analogy.
Eh, don’t blame yourself… I mean the conversation jumped to brewing tea, it’s not like defined parameters are a big deal around here.
That being said, my opinion is that, for most things, there is a point where quality improvements become so minor compared to the logarithmic increase in price that I am no longer interested.
My level of interest (in general) is about 175% over acceptable, if I can afford it… I.e. If Kmart sells acceptable (to the masses) speakers for $100 I’m ok with the $275 speakers at an audio shop. $15,000 Bose Pro series (or whatever) nah.
McD’s sells icky big burger for $3, I go $9 for the tasty sirloin burger at my local organic place. The $30+ truffle burger @ chez whasit, augh!
How this ties in with Orange Plastic I have no idea… I’m just killin time till Willis get back to writing about giant monsters and Blaster Hamsters (TM)
If you can find a place that sells a burger with “truffle” on it for only $30, you are looking at either shady business practices, or people who don’t know what a “truffle” is… or practically no truffle on it, possibly. That would be a damn bargain.
Truffles are the world’s most expensive fungus, for (almost) good reason: firstly, they are impossible to farm (people have tried, generally without success, to start truffle-farming orchards for YEARS) and grow pretty much only in the wild, under very strangely specific conditions (around the roots of certain types of trees in orchards of a certain age – like 20 years or some such – that of course, have been exposed to the spores of truffles), under the surface of soil, in select regions and climates. This rarity and difficulty in finding them in appropriate time for harvest (along with the fact that, being a fungus, they will spoil relatively rapidly and need to be harvested not just at the right time but also very carefully, lest they get damaged) jacks up the price considerably… but that’s not all of it. It’s not just that it’s rare or hard to get to that causes the price to be sky-high, because there are certainly orchards that have produced truffles for decades or more – no, it’s not just that they are rare.
It’s REALLY because the smell of a truffle, a real truffle, apparently is not just mouth-wateringly delicious, but actually has bonafide sex pheromones in it. Ones that apply to all mammals – including humans.
That’s right: it makes you want it just by smell, and it makes you want it desperately, and it does it by stimulating not just taste/scent receptors, but your sexy mind parts. No wonder it’s bloody expensive! Speaking of “it’s bloody expensive”, curious as to HOW expensive?
We’re talking, up to tens and tens of thousands of dollars a pound or something, if it’s at auction; the current world record is, for a white truffle, $110K PER POUND at an auction (it was a 3.3 lb specimen, so, $330k US). Granted, when it’s a fungal fruiting body, a “pound” goes a long way (they’re generally mostly water, very lightweight), and that particular truffle was genuinely massive I suppose, but still. Stupidly expensive. Prohibitively, for most people who don’t own car elevators.
So, in that case, the stupidly expensive burger would not be because of the burger. It would be the truffle, the rare, short-shelf-life, mind-manipulatingly tasty, fantastic-smelling fungus, that made it so expensive, and even then, that would be a perfectly fair price all things considered; you would not be paying for the probably $3 worth of beef and bun, you would be paying for the bizarrely intoxicating experience of smelling and consuming the (I will say it again) sexyfuntime-mind-manipulating fungus up close and personal. I can’t possibly afford to spend $30 on a tiny one-person meal, but if times were waaaay the heck better for me and I knew of a place that had real truffles and dishes with it in it that were only $30? I have to admit, I’d be curious enough to splurge and try it. Not every day or anything, but at least once, just to see exactly how allegedly magnificent the effects of that, let’s face it, mind-altering fungal substance really are. And this is mind you coming from somebody who would otherwise thing the $9 burger was absurdly expensive
Now, if you had said “Kobe beef”, I’d be right with you though… because actual Kobe beef exists almost nowhere except Japan (I just checked: Japan, Macau, and Hong Kong and that’s it) due to food safety/import restrictions, and is therefore a rip off if you try to get it in the States “legally” since you can’t GET it legally, which means it’s either black market stuff (which would be stupidly expensive, illegal, and possibly handled by people who, let’s just say, may not be considering food safety or purity first and foremost)… or it’s just like, Angus or something. Overpriced, crookedly marketed Angus.
“pawillem” is the most opinionated person on this site and is trying back up his opinions as facts. It pisses me off. Congratulations. Stop taking what he says as if it matters, people.
If you think I’m the most opinionated person on the site then you’re obviously new here. Thought you’d do some trolling away from 4chan for a change?
You know I was able to get the TM symbol before… I want it back!
Blaster Hamsters (TM)
Blaster Hamsters
Blaster Hamsters ™
Blaster Hamsters TM
Blaster Hamsters tm
Blaster Hamsters ™
Got it hahahahaha!
Greepies I’m bored.
cruncher3019, forgive me, then, for ever crediting your stupid ass with enough wit to recognize that “it’s not funny” in the context of a webcomic discussion is basically ALWAYS going to be a subjective remark by default, and that it really doesn’t necessitate a disclaimer like “In my personal opinion….” Do you always expect people to make such concessions for the sake of your willful ignorance? Should I warn you ahead of time when I’m going to use sarcasm, too? Well, DAMN.
That’s amusing considering you were trying to play it off in a form of logical argument. “The thing is, even if you know why the editor put that line at the end it still isn’t funny.” Your trying to force it as fact rather than just admitting that it is your opinion and that YOU don’t find it funny.
It’s one thing to make a random comment. It’s another to try to make a logical argument based on opinions. You need to read up on your communications or learn to stop being so one-sided. Or both. Yeah, both.
Hence the whole “get your head out of your ass” comment. Good day.
That’s enough, both of you! Now go to opposite corners of the discussion thread! NOW!
I do like the tear in Ethan’s eye in the last panel. All he got out of the guys rant was the apparently earth shattering idea that there’s translucent plastic, triggering a denial so hard he needed to drown his sorrows.
But thinking about it, and looking back at the few examples of detailed toys that had reissues with translucent parts, you do lose a lot of detail that someone went to a lot of trouble to sculpt for the original mold. For most toys it’s not a big deal at all, but for stuff where much of the appeal is the level of detail like transformers or say something from the many Gundam lines, a part that looks awesome (or at least good) in an non translucent plastic, becomes something you have to look closely at to see the same detail. It does loose something.
On a not really related note, the day I realized Optimus Prime is basically a Gundam sans V-Fin (his rifle’s to good for him to be a GM) was a strange day. Not a bad day, just strange.
Let me ask you though, because you’ve said you can see the difference: About how many times in your life have you said to yourself, “Man, I WOULD buy that Transformer, but the detail loss from the cheap plastic is what really kills it for me”?
One of the issues I have with this comic edit is that, by saying “these toys could sell better” it seems to be counting on the idea that there’s this big group of people out there who are aware of the lessened detailing and WOULD buy certain Transformers but end up skipping them just because of the “Playskool plastic”. IMO it’s kind of a big leap for him to make.
Let’s put it this way: Would you buy a video card that didn’t display all the details of your favorite game?
I don’t buy Transformers except to give to my kids to play with, and they don’t care, but when you care about something, be it music, video games, movies, books, the devil is in the details.
Having someone try to pawn off products that have missing details out of sheer cost cutting is as insulting as someone saying that an old PCI Titan video card is just as good as my Radeon 5750, because does it really matter about lessened detail?
I have done a few times, though. Because I’m not made of money. That’s why the cheaper ones exist.
Wait, is he being serious about transparent plastic not existing, or is that a statement we’re supposed to be mocking? Because I’ve seen plenty of semi-transparent and near-opaque plastic in my time, I’m sure “translucent” is a suitable term for it…
Okay, translucent plastic looks stupid.
What does this have to do with orange?