He's a big dude.
I has a Bane! It’s been a while since I’ve needed somebody from DC Universe Classics, and this time he’s the friggin’ build-a-figure. The last time I wanted a build-a-figure, I ended up buying a whole wave of movie Spider-Man toys to get myself a Sandman. Well, Bane’s wave wasn’t quite as desirable to me. It was full of either characters I already had better toys of (Robin, Riddler), or guys I didn’t really want or need (Jonah Hex). And so I went the way that most people do when they want a build-a-figure and don’t want to plunk down a few hundred to pick up the whole wave…. I went eBay! It means I pay a little more (or a lot more) for an individual figure, but not nearly as much as I woulda had to pay if I’d gotten him the normal way.
I needed Bane because he fills an important slot in both of the arenas of DCUC I’m collecting: Batman villains and Secret Six dudes. So far, there’s been a 100% overlap! It’s a really uninteresting Venn diagram so far. …well, okay, I didn’t pick up Parademon, but he really didn’t look, y’know, proper. Needed to be beefier and wear a fluffy vest or something.
If I ever do get a respectable Secret Six display, Bane may have to go through some minor changes. See, in Secret Six, Bane has been off the Venom for quite a while, as he’s decided it’s a weakness and a crutch. In fact, Bane is a very interesting character all around in Secret Six. This should not really be possible, since he should be, by all rights, no more than that goofy muscle guy in the luchador mask who breaks Batman’s back over his knee. But under the insanely awesome care of Gail Simone, Bane is a compelling character in his own right. Kinda weird in the head, but fascinating nonetheless. And so I might have to get rid of that Venom tube that runs from his head to his arm. It just wouldn’t be proper!
But, hey. Let’s not delude ourselves.
I know why you’re all here. I know what the money shot is.
Let’s do this.
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- He’s a big dude.
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- (Think you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree there, Bane.)
No BaneSupermanInACowlAndCape?
I figure I haven’t been following Bane’s comic appearences in some years now, and when I try to describe the character, I always go back to his Knighfall appearences; which is why your “just the muscle guy in the luchador mask” struck me as weird. During Knightfall, Bane wasn’t only the muscle, he had a keen mind and he knew how to use it, which is the reasong he was able to defeat Batman.
That’s also the reason I tend to dislike most Bane appearences in other media, since they only focus on the “dumb muscle guy in the luchador mask.”
So I ask: has Bane degenerated that much from what he originally was?
-airfox
I’m well aware that Bane is actually super smart. Still, his super smartness was only in service to his original purpose, which was breaking Batman’s back for a while. After that, his character’s kind of done. What do you do for an encore? The only job open to him at that point is being paid to pretend to break people’s spines at seedy nightclubs, since that’s What He Does.
At least, until Gail Simone got ahold of him. Now he’s a complete person again, and not just an exhausted plot device.
I also wish you wouldn’t misquote me as saying that he’s dumb. I said his luchador mask is dumb.
But luchador masks are incapable of being dumb.
Because they’re luchador masks.
Thanks for the clarification. As I said, other than Knightfall, I haven’t really followed “Bane’s adventures” in the comics.
Oops. Sorry. Wasn’t intentional. I don’t know why I jumped from goofy to dumb. My apologies.
-airfox
Twilight Sparkle! Noo~!
You know Twilight Sparkle would totally pwn his masked butt! She’s got magick out the wazoo! She can just slam him against the wall a few time if she wants. And that’s without busting out the Elements of Harmony.
Furthermore: Twilight Sparkle wouldn’t have needed 6 books! She could have done it in one, maybe two if Pinkie got twitchy.
Additionally, I’m almost sure that he’s just hugging Twilight Sparkle in that pic, not breaking anything but hearts
You know it! How can a man with a soul want to hurt Twilight Sparkle??
Bane looks more like he’s cuddling Twilight Sparkle than trying to break her back.
Perhaps she looks a bit like Scandal?
Precisely what I was thinking. Scandal Pony!
Bane is a brony.
Don’t worry. TSparks has magic to save her. And REALLY big friends:
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5054/5452568776_039213c4c6.jpg
(Or as one of the people on mlponies.com said “The magic of friendship turns a 0% chance of victory into a 100%!” WISDOM.)
But that leaves poor Gumby and SG Ravage. Who can help them?
Gumby is Gumby. He’ll probably split in half entirely, and the pieces will turn into two smaller Gumbys.
Ravage is from the crazy backwards universe, so breaking his back will probably give him superpowers or something.
So now “dickless” is spineless?
TWILIGHT SPARKLE, NO!!!!!!
I love how it looks like Twilight is punching Bane in the face.
You show him, Twi!
Twilight Sparkle was an important ally of the JLA.
Damn you, Willis.
I’ve always read in places that adaptations never get Bane right, always focusing on his muscle and venom-dependency and ignoring his supposed brain and whatnot.. but I never really got why I should care, since the guy in animated series n such was fine as an interesting thug.
But then Young Justice apparently did him.. uh.. justice.. and he was great. Calculating and manipulative and SOUTH AMERICANNnnn (bum bumm)
I think the TNBA episode “Over the Edge” got Bane right. Yeah, he’s strong, but he’s still sharply intelligent and creepy. Too bad that was a dream. Also, too bad that Batman, even in Batgirl’s dreams, knows to cut that damn Venom tube. C’mon, Bane, you’re smart, protect that thing better.
RIGHT?? I kept thinking CMON MAN, KEVLAR TUBES or something.
Batman punching Bane, Bane looking pissed, Bane breaking Batman’s back. And go!
Why pass on the Riddler? I’d say the jumpsuit is an excellent, borderline necessary, alternative to the suit.
I don’t want an alternative to the suit. The suit is God.
Okay David I am officially surprised that we are not seeing Bane breaking Transformers movie Jazz over his knee. Either that or megatron.
Jazz is 20 feet tall, dude!
How about Dinobot? OOH! Even better! Waspinator, if you have one handy :p
Waspinator is having a bad day.
And judging by the protohumans, Waspinator would be about in scale.
Yes a transformer is huge in scale to a person. I have to question whether Twilight, Ravage and Gumby are actually in scale to Bane as well. If not, then why worry about it. Go for what is fun! In that respect maybe you could have Jazz breaking Bane…:) Also if you are still hesitant due to scale issues, may be it would be better to have him break Frenzy.
Twilight Sparkle is a pony. That’s probably not too far off scale.
You should get caught up on DCUC now. I hear next year will be a Batman heavy year thanks to the new movie.
Oh yeah and the little line known as Transformers United is ending thanks to Dark of the Moon. Doesn’t really give me hope any new Generations/RTS stuff. oh well, I guess there’s Prime to fill the void.
NOW KISS!
(Especially the Twilight Sparkle one.)