Catholic radio is like the Funky Winkerbean of the airwaves.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
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Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
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Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
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Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
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Hark, a vagrant
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Not Invented Here
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Robin’s gonna have another “Then I will kill God” moment.
Well, I feel uplifted, how about you?
You know, this is why I don’t listen to AM radio.
This is why I don’t look at anything involving the news.
Ah, so that’s where the abortion radio is this week!
EWTN late at night is like this as well. I can’t remember the name of the show I found after the NEWW pub crawl, but it was some combination of this show and the worst monk folk singer ever. And everyone was some manner of monk. Or possibly nun. But mostly monk.
Plus, ads for Mother Angelica DVDs.
One (or maybe The) local Catholic radio station near me just seems to broadcast chanting all the time… I think it’s just “Hail Mary…our sins…” over and over, but maybe it’s other ones as well.
As far as I can tell (as I scan the dial) every repeat is in a different persons voice. No singing, no music, just spoken.
I’m not sure what they are trying to do. Robocall god?
I like it because I don’t ever get tricked into thinking it’s something I want to listen to.
It’s stuff like that that makes me regret being Catholic.
Don’t be, if that radio station is/were real, it’d be a pretty poor example of Catholicism.
Abortion abortion.
What’s your function?
Killin’ babies with this brand new function!
Abortion abortion Armageddon abortion.
INCEST!
…Incestual abortion?
…is a family affair.
“No More Wire Hangers…..EVER!!!”
I can listen to this kind of show all day and not be bothered, because as an atheist I am already going to Hell, so nothing I do can make my situation any worse.
If I’m feeling masochistic I listen to NPR.
I’m… a person who isn’t easily classified into a specific religion (I just call it Cap’n Crunchism because there’s no official name for what I am) and is, according to the Catholics (which I used to be), going straight to Hell.
However, like Santa and good tasting diet drink, I don’t believe in Hell, so I think I’m safe.
Then you should convert to Sarcasticism. It’s a new creed I’m trying to found based on following the great prophet Mike Warner. But to join, you have to do someone’s mum. For no more than a nickel.
Is someones dad okay? Just a preference thing.
Only as long as someone doesn’t want you to do them.
coincidently, I have done someones mum, for less then a nickel…:)
I’ll get right on it (or, rather, her).
Let me try; she never really loved you.
Oh, I already knew that…
Today is the day when everyone’s the Flash, it seems.
Hey, what kind of car is that modelled after?
The Little Tikes Cozy Coupe.
Not the rear window, which is the defining characteristic. I recognize it, but if I’m right, it’s not a car available in America, hence my curiosity.
Ultra Car isn’t based on any real-life existing car. He’s drawn from an illustration of a hypothetical hybrid car that I found somewhere and then modified to look more like Ultra Car.
Really? The rear windows/C-Pillar remind of early Mercedes A-Classes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_A-Class
I do not think that word means what you think it means D:
Stuff like this makes me thankful my parents refer to themselves as “recovering Catholics”
I gave up Catholicism for Lent one year. Decided I didn’t need it back.
Oh my god, that is awesome! xD
The Abortion Hour was great when it started, but now they’re just starting to run out of ideas for stuff to talk about.
Uh… Robin does remember the catholic view on women who sleep with other women, right?
Wait, they get to view that?
If so, where do I go to convert?
-Snorts-
You sign up at the Y
They have everything for you men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys.
Okay, that was funny
That’s hardly universal. My aunt and uncle are Catholic, and their church takes no issue with gays.
It’s true that there are many individual Catholics who don’t have any problem with homosexuality (and even support gay rights); there’s even a few churches where the leadership feels the same way. But the fact is, unless you’re a mission church, some portion of what goes into the collection plate goes up the chain to the guys who are stashing Cardinal Law in Rome, who ordered a nun removed from her hospital board position for authorizing an abortion to save the mother’s life, who excommunicated two doctors in South America for daring to perform an abortion (after getting legal authorization from the courts, as local pro-Catholic laws required) on a mother who was raped. By her stepfather. When she was ~12~.
So unless your Aunt and Uncle actively refrain from donating to their church’s coffers, their money is being used to prevent abortions to save the mother’s life; to oppose gay rights in any form; and to cover up acts of pederasty. If they ARE withholding their donations, then good for them; I firmly believe the RCC won’t change until it is shown that it cannot continue to receive funding from its parishoners so long as it refuses to reconsider these issues.
She also tried to sleep with Ethan repeatedly.
Doesn’t exactly strike me as a devout practitioner.
Meh, details details. The Catholic church is so huge you’ll find large chunks that don’t follow everything the Pope says. Heck, we have churches who support gays and lesbians.
Catholics are really bad at listening to the Big Boss ;P
I think we’ve found DoA Joyce’s night time listening.
Fairly certain that Joyce is Protestant in all universes.
I always assumed that too.
Doesn’t mean she doesn’t listen to Catholic radio.
I honestly have to ask how Robin and Ultracar can listen to that without breaking out in hysterical mocking laughter, with their history of being on the front lines of the Martian invasion, and all.
Armageddon? Gathering dark forces? Been there, done that.
There’s always another gathering of dark forces…
Except they weren’t on the front lines. Robin went out to recover Lith and the resurrection machine, and was absent for a good chunk of the actual fighting. When she was on the front lines, if I remember correctly, she tried to stop Sal from charging Cheese!Head Alien and that’s it.
Ultra Car was up on the mothership with Danny, Joe, and Rachel, and decimated it. I don’t know how much fighting was involved, since it was one big Noodle Incident.
So, yeah.
ugh..bodily functions *squick*
I know right? Just thinking off all those people out there breathing makes me want to kill some one! >.<
And blinking! Don’t forget blinking! *shudder*
And SHUDDERING!. Evil, twisted shuddering…
AKA Disco Dancing
This is why I avoid reality (tho I sometimes poke it with a stick to see if it’s still alive).
holy crap guys, feel free to lay off the catholics any day now. they get a bad rep, but honestly, as far as the batshit quotient goes, catholicism has got nothing on evangelicals/fundamentalists/certain baptist sects.
Judging by the amount of Catholic radio I’ve listened to (which is a lot), the only difference between these Catholics and the fundamentalists of which you speak is how much they like the Pope. And how much they hate condoms, which actually puts them a little lower in my esteem.
(Yesterday, if there were a drinking game where you took a shot every time the Pope or condoms were mentioned, you’d be dead in about fifteen minutes.)
Anyway, screw you, people in Africa!
Catholicism vs protestant fundamentalism… hard to choose what´s worse.
Both object to abortions, homosexuality, premarital sex and both believe in silly fairytales.
But the catholics have the pope, and his abominable influence over africa (regarding HIV and condoms), as well as their unethical reaction to the child molestation scandals.
On the other hands, the fundies hinder science (there is no catholic creationism, evolution was accepted by the pope ex cathedra), and they take the bible as literal truth.
I vote for the fundies being worse, but my experiences with catholics is based on the German kind, which are fairly relaxed.
But in the end the larger problem ist not catholics vs fundies, but religion vs reality.
Yesterday definitely, given that over the weekend the Pope said using condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS was okay. Not for contraception, mind you, just AIDS.
Catholic radio has been talking non-stop since then trying to refute that he actually said this, and that the media was misconstruing his words. They are very, very passionate about being anti-condom. It’s all anti-condom all the time!
“DO NOT USE THE CONDOMS! I REPEAT, IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT, DO NOT USE A CONDOM!”
judging from what you transcribed (i’ve never actually listened to catholic radio, unfortunately) the speakers you’re describing are probably pretty much the worst catholics you’re going to find out there to be representatives for the whole religion. catholicism was the faith i was raised with–although i’ve been more or less an atheist from junior high on–and, aside from the abortion thing, most of the teachings we got fell on the liberal end of the spectrum if you wanted to look at it politically. yeah, we got the ‘condoms is wrong’ spiel, but on a personal basis pretty much all of our educators agreed that spreading diseases like HIV was infinitely worse than doing nothing.
and yeah, i’m probably being unfair to the evangelicals/etc. out there, but the difference is that i’ve personally met far more individuals who match up with the crazy tv stereotypes of evangelicals than i have met catholics who fit the bill for what you described in the strip.
as a side note i do quite like the strip itself, and i think robin’s reaction to what she heard would probably match up to the reactions of 90% of all the actual catholics i know if they were exposed to that particular radio station and its messages, if i had to hazard to guess.
There’s a reason even devout Catholics don’t listen to Catholic radio -_-
The thing is, outside the US, the fundies are a fairly impotent group–they rarely have the ability to inluence national laws in Africa or Asia, for instance. Catholicism, OTOH, spreads misery to every corner of the globe, and does so in the name of Christ.
Furthermore, Catholic AM radio tends to belong to the more reactionary versions of Catholicism, embodied by Bill Donahue’s Catholic League, and Opus Dei.
urgh don’t even talk to me about bill donahue
i want to punch him in the mouth
and yes, if you want to take this topic on a broader scale (i was more referring to messages advocated by individuals as opposed to hierarchies), then yeah, there’s no question that catholicism as an organization has a lot more power to do wrong in the world than a fundie sect or a one-off megachurch would. yes, it’s grating that some of the money my parents donate to our church goes toward preventing abortions and things like that when there are far more relevant issues that could be dealt with. it’s grating that the vatican is denouncing the use of condoms in africa over a remarkably petty issue regarding birth control.
but on a micro level, aside from the catholic league and their elk, remarkably little of catholicism revolves around the fire and brimstone ideologies. literally not a single teacher at my catholic high school (in a consistently republican-voting state) ever advocated that being gay got you sent to hell. i’ve met more non-catholics at my (public) university who would support the aforementioned abortion/condom policies than i ever met growing up.
i’m not catholic and haven’t been for years. but even though the religion i grew up with has serious and abhorrent flaws, just like most other faiths, i don’t like that it automatically has the worst reputation among all the christian sects.
The protestant fundies have been making inroads on that note, what with the Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill.
Abortion *hour*? They’re doing it wrong, obviously.
This si why I now don’t listen to one of the two Christian radios I get in my town anymore…
Most Christian radio I’ve listened to is fairly innocuous. Usually there’s some fluffy songs about Jesus and some lipservice about the good news. Catholic AM radio, on the other hand, exists only to terrify you.
Y’know … Catholics are Christians, too.
-airfox
May I point you to the initial phrase “Most Christian radio.” Please.
LOL.
Funny thing is, where I live there’s an estimate of 90-92% Roman Catholics … and I don’t think we have a Catholic Radio.
-airfox
Let’s not forget Christian
whoops- screwed up the link. meant to say puppet shows http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjWUkjvnXb4
Man, where do you live? I’m only asking to make sure I never listen to Catholic radio there. I’m scared now.
Goddamn I hope robin doesn’t get caught up in trying to save her soul based on heavier catholic teachings. I so don’t want to see the strain that would put between her and liz.
I’m faaairly sure Robin does not have the attention span necessary to pull something like that, so we’re safe.
you cant save a soul man, only jesus can. when he aint trying to sell you coffee..
Or helping a sports team to win.
Wait, Ultra Car’s still around? I assumed he’d pulled a Brother Chuck and vanished. Huh.
I’d prefer the bumper sticker that reads, “Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip”.
I’m inclined to prefer “Faith is defined as a belief that is not based on evidence”, or more to the point “Faith is nonsense by definition, not a guilt trip”.
But then, I don’t own a car.
I tend to prefer “To have Faith, or to not have faith, is deeply personal, and anyone who question’s someone’s grip on reality based on whether they have faith or not is an incredible douche.” But then again, I am an advocate of the “There is no one true way” philosophy. No one person, or group of people, can say what reality is for an individual. Science is a good thing, but science only explains what can be observed. You cannot observe individual perspectives, and you cannot say, really, what is reality for one person, and what is not.
That would be one hell of a bumper sticker.
Nothing like religious snark to drive up the pageviews, eh?
Seriously though, if this is the trigger for the next storyline, consider me intrigued.
I predict a “Crisis on Infinite Earth” type of event where the Shortpacked / Walky reality will be re-written
It’s called Dumbing of Age….
So Shortpacked is Earth 2?
Nah, that’s Ultimate Roomies.
The Crisis comes later, after DW can no longer keep straight which version of a character is which.
Ah, so Willis will tease the two universes meeting, but then it will just turn out to be a Zombie Walkyverse
That’s not a Crisis, that’s just three nights of drinking during Comic-con
But I thought Catholics didn’t believe that animals have souls, and with Ultra-Car being a robot he wouldn’t have one either.
I think he’s listening to the channel less because he believes he’ll be ‘saved’ as much as he hates humans that much. Or maybe he just loves hearing about how humans are doomed and how humans kill other humans.
The latter, I’m sure.
All dogs go to heaven!
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1830811
Like all religions most Catholics pick and choose the bits they like. It’s not as if the Church spends much time tackling the issue of AI souls, anyway.
If Ultra-Car wants to be catholic, he’d fit in just as well as Catholics who use condoms, get divorces, and believe that the Earth is only 6,000 years old.
Abortion is a biological function now?
It’s called miscarriage, actually. Most of them happen before a lady even knows she was pregnant.
As long as an infant dies, taxonomy is unimportant? I’m pretty sure a miscarriage is markedly different from an abortion, which in turn isn’t the same thing as infanticide. Vocabulary matters!!!
I bet taxonomy matters a whole lot to the poor fetus who got put into a woman’s body just to die before the woman even knew she was pregnant. Wonder how God explains that one when they get to the afterlife. Nobody learned a lesson. It didn’t impact anybody’s life. There can’t have been a hidden “reason” for it if nobody ever noticed. But a soul was snuffed out nonetheless.
Either God’s a huge jerk for no reason, or maybe we shouldn’t care inordinately about people who didn’t get to be people.
I prefer to option “A,” mainly because I’ve watched far too much Star Trek and Futurama to believe anybody knows where the lines between sentient, sapient, viable/non-viable, and living/non-living should be drawn.
Also, it’s a good thing humanity isn’t an egg-laying species.
I’d say the party line would be that they went to Limbo with the other children who died before they were baptised, but I seem to recall the Catholic Church tossed out the idea of Limbo. Or was that Purgatory? I forget.
Word up.
Yea, I do remember form before that Robin was a Catholic.
Oh my God!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA I can completely relate to this strip!
My parents used to listen to it all the time. And I hear the words “abortion and “pornography” like everyday. Thank God that I got my own car now
Just keep hopin’ your car doesn’t start listening to the radio…
There was a short-lived TV show in the 1960s about a guy’s mother who was reinCARnated as an antique car. She would talk to her son via the car’s AM radio. Back then, it was considered the worst show to ever be on TV – it’s called “My Mother The Car”.
well, who the eff would want their mom spying on them when trying to drive and makeout witht heir dates?
plus, fross, when you do an oil change on her, wats symbolic part of a human do you think THAT is?!!
Well, let’s see, oil’s main function in a car is lubrication, and the main lubricating fluid in the human body is synovial fluid, so… EEEEEEWWW! It’s like giving your mom joint replacement surgery!
Hopefully, I’ll get rid of that damn plate sticker gravitar. At least I chose an anime character from my childhood…Speed Racer!
If Catholic Radio were like Funky Winkerbean, what would that make Evangelical Radio? Jewish Radio? Hindu Radio? Mohammedan Radio?
Do those exist?
Yes. Yes, they do.
Along with several flavours of Pagan/Heathen/Wiccan/Druidic radio…
Back in 2000, the previous pontiff begged forgiveness for, among some other things, the crusades, the Inquisition, the persecution of the Jewish people, in justice towards women, (that’s half the human race right there), and the forced conversion of indigenous peoples, especially in South America, the African slave trade, for silence during Hitler’s Final Solution or Shoah, and the rather belated admission that Galileo was right.
And then, the Pope was infallible again, until the next time the church realized it had screwed up.
See, this is why I didn’t give my car a radio. … or sentience.
Wow. I didn’t think Catholics went in for all the spooky-booky of the “Apocalypse Of John.” Every Catholic I’ve met treats the bible as parable for a good life, not a good death. Leave that doom and punishment talk for the neo-Christians, not those who actually study the Bible.
Man, I NEVER thought I’d miss the compassion and tolerance of “Mother Angelica Live” from back when it was really live. She may have hated sin, but she didn’t hate sinners….
Folks:
I’m Catholic.
Why do so many of you expend all of this venom in a discussion where practically all of you agree with each other? How is this any fun for anybody?
Why do you get so upset? Is it because, deep down, you wonder if there might be some truth in Catholicism, after all?
…because there is, and there always will be.
Meanwhile, I don’t know about spreading misery, but if anybody wants to help Catholic Relief Services drill a few water wells in Africa, or make a small-business loan to a woman in Egypt, they’d probably appreciate it, and it’s as good a season as any for it.
Man, if the only reason like-minded people gang up on something is because they’re secretly afraid it’s true, then apparently Islam is super-SUPER true!
As is evolution! And science!! And you’re-born-gay-it’s-not-a-choice!!!
Secretly… TRUUUUEEEEE. XD
(No really, it is. And deep in their bones, the Fundies knoooow it.)
Naw, that stuff would only be true if, like, they had some sort of, I dunno, radio station that desperately attacked that stuff 24/7.
Oh, wait.
Folks:
You haven’t answered. It’s okay, if you don’t want to.
Some questions are just there to ask, or to ask and think about.
But the bitterness isn’t needed. I’m not angry or upset, not that anybody should really worry about that. (Art that makes somebody angry has succeeded better than art that leaves somebody indifferent, right?)
We can misinterpret and fall down, sure, but the heart of the matter is that God loves.
when i read your comments, it hurts right behind my eyes.
As for the only question you asked:
“Why do so many of you expend all of this venom in a discussion where practically all of you agree with each other? How is this any fun for anybody? ”
It’s fun in the same way as the freak shows in ancient times. Pointing and laughing.
I’ve listened to Catholic Radio before, but it didn’t sound anything like this. Might be an AM/FM thing, cause the one I heard was FM and it was fine and dandy… I mean… assuming you enjoy Papal addresses and such.