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Mom

by David Willis on October 20, 2010 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Minorities Report

└ Tags: amber, faz

Discussion (86) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    October 20, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    *HURL*

    …aww…

    *HURL*

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      October 20, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

      Hey, two firsts in a row! What are you peeps doing? XD

      • MrGBH
        MrGBH
        October 20, 2010 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

        We’re all ready DoA first.

        • MrGBH
          MrGBH
          October 20, 2010 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

          *Reading

  2. addude
    addude
    October 20, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Sweet moment?

  3. davmopedia
    davmopedia
    October 20, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Even when he’s sad, Faz has that stupid grin.

    Faz is awesome.

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      October 20, 2010 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

      I think it’s permanent.

      And this confirms it, she did not have sex with her possible brother.

      • pakopako
        pakopako
        October 24, 2010 at 1:50 am | # | Reply

        It’s like that smiling farmer from RPGworld. (I’ve been on a dead webcomic binge lately.)

        And this also confirms that Faz has never had contact with anyone. Even Roz.

  4. MrGBH
    MrGBH
    October 20, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Wait-? Wha-? Faz is acting like a normal (ish) person? Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh! My puny human mind can’t take it.

    • Volkai
      Volkai
      October 21, 2010 at 7:45 am | # | Reply

      Yup, even total douchebags are human beings.

      They just hide it really, really well most of the time.

  5. Jabberwocky
    Jabberwocky
    October 20, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Faz and Amber, bonding?

    WHAT IS THIS HERESY

    • pakopako
      pakopako
      October 24, 2010 at 1:53 am | # | Reply

      No, this is the Shortpacked! Toy. Store.

  6. MasonK
    MasonK
    October 20, 2010 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    It is also more than Amber wanted you to touch a lady.

  7. Mirenheart
    Mirenheart
    October 20, 2010 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    I wonder, will we actually see Faz’s expression change when he finds out they are (sorta) brothere and sister? Or will he just think of it as kinky?

    • Björn
      Björn
      October 20, 2010 at 2:26 am | # | Reply

      He will freeze up, dumbfounded, thereby getting to keep his grin on.

  8. Monty Prime
    Monty Prime
    October 20, 2010 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Next comes the dry humping.

  9. Alice Macher
    Alice Macher
    October 20, 2010 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

    D’awww. But still, do be careful, Amber.

  10. Cholma
    Cholma
    October 20, 2010 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Faz’s Master Plan to actually touch a woman has seen fruition!

  11. Dierna
    Dierna
    October 20, 2010 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Awwww…. Faz is starting to become a sympathetic and almost (emphasis on almost) likeable character….. ô,0

  12. RaijinK
    RaijinK
    October 20, 2010 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

    Holy crap. For a fleeting moment, Faz and Amber interact like close, well-adjusted siblings. How did it come to this?

  13. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    October 20, 2010 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

    Leave it to Faz to figure out how to ruin a touching moment.

  14. capripede
    capripede
    October 20, 2010 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

    …except when you had your entire head up Sarah Pailin’ ass, Faz!

    There are people who pay good money for such things.

    I’m just sayin’.

    • No0ne
      No0ne
      October 20, 2010 at 12:47 am | # | Reply

      Pailin doesn count as a Lady shes more of a thing. A syco thing… Like a pitbull with lipstick… Something that should have never seen the light of day…

    • frosgrok
      frosgrok
      October 20, 2010 at 4:33 am | # | Reply

      Actually if you go by square units of coverage, and assuming a little bit more hug contact than is shown in the frame, a hug would have more contact than a head up an ass.

      FazHa x PAsq/1 = 657 square inches of Palin
      FazWb x AmbWB /.221 = 1106 square inches of Amber

      • Stephen
        Stephen
        October 20, 2010 at 11:25 am | # | Reply

        Wow! I never new math could be so useful!

  15. Chad from Canada
    Chad from Canada
    October 20, 2010 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

    This is a nice moment… But I’d burn that shirt after wards…

  16. No0ne
    No0ne
    October 20, 2010 at 12:41 am | # | Reply

    And back to hating Faz, but I want to Nuke him less now.

    • No0ne
      No0ne
      October 20, 2010 at 12:45 am | # | Reply

      And yes Nuke is a proper noun

      • Old_Crow
        Old_Crow
        October 20, 2010 at 2:41 am | # | Reply

        Not when it is used as a verb

        • frosgrok
          frosgrok
          October 20, 2010 at 4:35 am | # | Reply

          Keep in mind the avatar that person picked… Don’t confuse No0ne with complicated concepts.

          • OldsVistaCruiser
            OldsVistaCruiser
            October 20, 2010 at 7:23 am | # | Reply

            I didn’t know you could choose your own avatar. I’m getting tired of a turtle! How do you change your avatar here?

            I’d actually like to choose a Vista Cruiser. I was into Vista Cruisers LONG before “That ’70s Show” – in fact, T7S is pretty much exactly as my life was circa 1985. I had the basement party room, a nearly-identical sister, almost the exact same Vista Cruiser (same year, too – except mine had a black interior), a friend just like Hyde – and I even had/have a foreign friend who acts like Fez more than Faz. If you take all but three letters out of my (Filipino) friend’s middle name (Felizidad), you have “Fez”!

          • dorp
            dorp
            October 20, 2010 at 10:16 am | # | Reply

            You just click the “Get a Gravatar” link next to the name field.

        • No0ne
          No0ne
          October 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm | # | Reply

          I know I just have a bad habit of randomly capitalizing words.

    • OldsVistaCruiser
      OldsVistaCruiser
      October 20, 2010 at 6:04 pm | # | Reply

      Let’s see if this gravatar works!

      • OldsVistaCruiser
        OldsVistaCruiser
        October 20, 2010 at 6:04 pm | # | Reply

        Apparently not!

        • frosgrok
          frosgrok
          October 21, 2010 at 4:28 am | # | Reply

          I like it! Obscure and weird.

          It’s kind of retro Borg:

          WE ARE THE BORG, DESIGNATION: Dial PA2-1200

  17. Nick Wright
    Nick Wright
    October 20, 2010 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

    If you are to feel a dull jab in your abdomen, it is only because Faz is expressing his appreciation for your friendship.

  18. Mmcfacialhair
    Mmcfacialhair
    October 20, 2010 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

    that second to last line may be my favorite Faz quote of all time. I can imagine that line coming from a robot. A horny, sociopathic robot.

    • dethtoll
      dethtoll
      October 20, 2010 at 1:25 am | # | Reply

      What I love about Faz is the way he always seems to sound like Asian propaganda. Ever-increasing victory for Faz, etc.

    • frosgrok
      frosgrok
      October 20, 2010 at 4:38 am | # | Reply

      “Platonic Intimacy” = gateway drug to “Red Hot Lovin’ “

  19. agentAK
    agentAK
    October 20, 2010 at 1:54 am | # | Reply

    This is the cutest damned thing I have ever read, in the space of two pages you have made me love Faz.

    • GoddamnDeadpool
      GoddamnDeadpool
      October 20, 2010 at 2:56 am | # | Reply

      Exactly this.

  20. CJ
    CJ
    October 20, 2010 at 2:01 am | # | Reply

    Victory belongs to Faz

  21. Kenshiro28
    Kenshiro28
    October 20, 2010 at 2:08 am | # | Reply

    If it wasn’t for Faz’s inability to actually hide his desire for sex, this would’ve seemed like a plan to get into Amber’s pants.

  22. Alechsa
    Alechsa
    October 20, 2010 at 2:27 am | # | Reply

    Aaannnnd… until the last panel he stood a chance at becoming her friend… *L* Just because he’s blood doesn’t mean ya gotta LIKE him, Amber.

  23. Björn
    Björn
    October 20, 2010 at 2:29 am | # | Reply

    Poor Amber, can’t decide if she should pity Faz for never even hugging a woman, or if she should punch him for pointing it out.

  24. Björn
    Björn
    October 20, 2010 at 2:32 am | # | Reply

    Faz looks really different from his first appearance at Shortpacked! Also I realize that from his very first strip (no pun intended) he is taught to obsess about filling employee quotas. It all ties together. Damn you Willis!

  25. SmokedToast
    SmokedToast
    October 20, 2010 at 3:09 am | # | Reply

    The sad thing is, if you consider how he described the situation…. this means his mom was no better or no one is giving him enough credit. Either Faz does have boundaries and considers family off limits…. or his mom couldn’t even be bothered to hug him as a kid.

    • JT
      JT
      October 20, 2010 at 2:31 pm | # | Reply

      If he hadn’t confirmed it by what he said at the end, I almost would have my skin crawling in disgust with the possibility that his mom used him as a surrogate for the man missing in her life… it might be one viable means to explain his beyond-crippling social awkwardness, his treatment of women and forced, permanent smile…

  26. TexasNinjaBuzzard
    TexasNinjaBuzzard
    October 20, 2010 at 3:25 am | # | Reply

    Nope. Still hatin’ him.

  27. SC
    SC
    October 20, 2010 at 3:41 am | # | Reply

    the twist is that Faz gets fired just as Amber starts to feel only mitigated disdain towards him rather than the absolute disdain she’s always felt towards him, which throws Amber into a horrible spiral of guilt and depression, which causes Mike to make it worse, which causes Robin to lose her reelection campaign, which causes Sydney Yus to become Speaker of the House and enshrine cancer in the Constitution or something, which causes Ethan to tell Batman jokes

    right?

    • Zem
      Zem
      October 20, 2010 at 10:42 pm | # | Reply

      Especially that last part.

  28. Hogan
    Hogan
    October 20, 2010 at 3:48 am | # | Reply

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!! … for giving me emotional whiplash… I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Faz… :|

  29. Shift
    Shift
    October 20, 2010 at 3:56 am | # | Reply

    Its amazing how even when Faz is having character development and could induce a bit of pity, he’s still a creepy little pisher.

    • frosgrok
      frosgrok
      October 20, 2010 at 4:41 am | # | Reply

      Hmmm, Political office for the Faz?

  30. Cadlington
    Cadlington
    October 20, 2010 at 4:27 am | # | Reply

    So much haet. I’ve always liked Faz, he’s a hilarious character, even if in real life he’d make a pretty creepy human being.

    Seems like a lot of the fans don’t make that distinction at times, lulz.

  31. turkishproverb
    turkishproverb
    October 20, 2010 at 5:05 am | # | Reply

    Stop trying to make me pity Faz.

    …

    You Monster.

  32. sean martin
    sean martin
    October 20, 2010 at 6:32 am | # | Reply

    And in the very next panel, enter Mike stage left…..

  33. Jack Faire
    Jack Faire
    October 20, 2010 at 7:46 am | # | Reply

    I am shocked not only didn’t Faz use his melancholy as an excuse to grope he even referred to the need for PLATONIC intimacy instead of “lets do it”

  34. Andrusi
    Andrusi
    October 20, 2010 at 8:48 am | # | Reply

    Out of all the TVTropes pages I ever thought I’d link to in response to a page of Amber and Faz interacting, this was never one of them.

    • James241
      James241
      October 21, 2010 at 9:39 am | # | Reply

      Oh goddamnit… It’s now midnight. I haad plans for that evening.

  35. Fady
    Fady
    October 20, 2010 at 8:56 am | # | Reply

    “Platonic intimacy”

    Well I’m glad you specified precisely what kind of intimacy you wanted Faz.
    But in a way that makes me confused as to why I needed to feel glad about it in the first place.

    oh right because it’s Faz

  36. Zudarkness
    Zudarkness
    October 20, 2010 at 9:02 am | # | Reply

    I feel sorry for The Faz… Faz probally knows that Amber is possibly her brother

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      October 20, 2010 at 1:15 pm | # | Reply

      Wait, what? That would certainly be an epic twist; it would also make Amber eligible for Ethan, and pretty much kill Faz’s chances of ever getting a Het Kinsey Score….

      (Sorry, but if it’s hanging over the plate like that, I gotta take a swing….)

  37. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    October 20, 2010 at 9:11 am | # | Reply

    Hey now, do not give me that look, Amber. You brought this down upon yourself.

  38. Marrock
    Marrock
    October 20, 2010 at 9:38 am | # | Reply

    Nice try there Scooter.

    Unfortunately there’s no way in any of the nine hells that I will ever feel sorry for that little turdworm.

    He needs to be nibbled to death by rabid ducks.

    • Ruri
      Ruri
      October 20, 2010 at 9:57 am | # | Reply

      Somebody else who, despite all the warm and fuzzies and human sadness generated by Faz these past 2 strips, also still feels that Faz should have a slow and humiliating death d^^b

      • Rasputin Varez
        Rasputin Varez
        October 20, 2010 at 9:34 pm | # | Reply

        Perhaps you are just bad people?

  39. quarktime
    quarktime
    October 20, 2010 at 10:42 am | # | Reply

    *Sniff sniff* Hey, Faz…you DID wash your head after that whole Palin thing, right?

  40. Pan
    Pan
    October 20, 2010 at 11:01 am | # | Reply

    Who else expects Mike is just out of shot with a killing face?

  41. Stephen
    Stephen
    October 20, 2010 at 11:27 am | # | Reply

    Platonic intimacy? I’ve always been one for utilitarian intimacy, myself. The greatest happiness for the greatest number!

  42. Joey
    Joey
    October 20, 2010 at 12:52 pm | # | Reply

    I don’t know if this is a big deal or not, but for some reason to me is it…in the last panel…Faz didn’t refer to himself in the third person…Should I be scared?

  43. Tony
    Tony
    October 20, 2010 at 12:57 pm | # | Reply

    I think I may be the only person who read Faz’s last line as him feeling comfortable enough with Amber to reveal a very insecure truth about himself, and Amber not being ready to deal with Faz on such an honest, emotional level. And this is coming from a guy who really hated Faz!

  44. Freemage
    Freemage
    October 20, 2010 at 1:18 pm | # | Reply

    BTW, while everyone’s focusing on the Faz, no one’s been giving kudos to Amber, who is giving some pretty damned awesome advice and moral support, even to someone who hasn’t really earned that kindness. Kudos to the lass.

  45. BriGuy115
    BriGuy115
    October 20, 2010 at 1:23 pm | # | Reply

    Can I have some platonic intimacy with Amber, too?

  46. bramble
    bramble
    October 20, 2010 at 2:07 pm | # | Reply

    Wow. I would not have bet that Faz even knew the word “platonic.”

  47. Heather
    Heather
    October 20, 2010 at 3:53 pm | # | Reply

    I FEEL SORRY FOR FAZ…

    WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

    (Next thing you know I’ll be feeling sorry for Roz.)

    • randomgirl
      randomgirl
      October 20, 2010 at 9:45 pm | # | Reply

      THOSE ARE MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!

  48. Jonn
    Jonn
    October 20, 2010 at 5:59 pm | # | Reply

    Awww?

  49. Naz
    Naz
    October 20, 2010 at 6:15 pm | # | Reply

    Did Mike bang Faz’s mom at any point? Now THAT would be interesting

  50. Rasputin Varez
    Rasputin Varez
    October 20, 2010 at 9:32 pm | # | Reply

    >reads comments

    OH NO! A NON 2-DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER!?!?

  51. Batgirl1
    Batgirl1
    October 20, 2010 at 9:58 pm | # | Reply

    Based on the strip title, does this mean that Faz has now imprinted Amber as his mommy?

    • Zem
      Zem
      October 20, 2010 at 10:44 pm | # | Reply

      Or maybe he’s Mrs. Amber and Jacob’s son from the future.

  52. LazarusLong
    LazarusLong
    October 20, 2010 at 10:18 pm | # | Reply

    Again I say……NO.NO.NO. Dammit Amber as his Possible older SISTER, it is your DUTY to destroy him. This has been the duty of older siblings since the dawn of time. DESTROY HIM!!! MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND (Possibly) PHYSICALLY!!!!!!

  53. Turnish
    Turnish
    October 20, 2010 at 11:36 pm | # | Reply

    Hi! I just wanted to say that the expressions in this strip are especially well-done. Like seriously.

    Also, Faz’s petting the puppy scene here is super effective.

  54. Skullrama
    Skullrama
    October 20, 2010 at 11:48 pm | # | Reply

    Hm. Hitting the Random button just keeps taking me back to the latest comic. Killjoy.

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