Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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So everyone was right, he did it.
I did laugh at the “I’m back in” line.
…..and I think my hatred of roz got to critical mass
You know I think this strip could use a REAL villain (not as bad as it needs blaster toting hamsters though) one that did things just to be nasty, stomping on toys, bringing in stealth bags of fur allergens, peeing in the coffee maker…
Mike might qualify, Roz just doesn’t. Roz banged Jacob either for fun (seems like it) or because she has her own “addiction” problems.
If she had done it to break up a relationship, or make him suicidal, or such… ok she’s a baddy. But she’s more like “Come play with me! NOW!”, a starved for attention three year old who can’t understand why somebody doesn’t want to. (That should catch the eye of guy worried about “The girl scout of sluts” comments and the FBI yesterday)
I will admit that self centered jerks probably cause as much (or more) harm as “evil” people and hating Roz is valid. But really, if she warrants this level of enthusiastic vitriol, a character based on a gal I know from NJ named Debbie, would make you folks vomit on your keyboard.
BTW, am I the only one who finds it a tad odd that Jacob is choosing to confide in ROZ? Or maybe he has done this to all the folks passing through the quikie-lay?
I think he’s just boinked himself to critical mass and has to tell somebody. Roz is simply the person there at the time.
Um. Except that “real” villains (IE, villains in the real world) don’t just do evil for the sake of evil. There’s always a personal selfish motive attached. Even if someone is kicking the shit out of a person who did absolutely nothing to them, they aren’t doing it for the sake of “evil”, but rather because they get some sort of pleasure or benefit out of it (a sense of power, or of fear quelled, or just sadism). So, yeah, fucking someone when it hurts them while giving you pleasure isn’t on the same level as kicking someone for the same reasons. But it’s still villainy in the real world, at least it’s the only kind of villainy humanity has come up with. Maybe some day we’ll have villains who do evil for evil’s sake, and not for any personal pleasure or advancement that they get out of it, but for now we only have people like Roz in this world, fucking it up royally with their selfishness.
I have a pretty high hate level for Roz, which is odd considering how much I’ve always enjoyed Mike. Maybe it’s because Mike never acts like he’s anything other than an asshole, while Roz (and her defenders) seem to think that she’s not so bad. Which is really the worst kind of asshole, the one that pisses on you and then thinks you’re a prick for not enjoying it.
Hmmm, I think there is a bit of semantic breakdown here but, for me:
Jerk (self centered) = Unless there is a cost to them, will ignore others needs in pursuit of their aims. I.e. “She was in a hurry and the dog shouldn’t have been in the road” = dead dog
Villain = Unless the cost is excessive will harm others = “After spending a day making sure that no one would notice she tortured the dog to death” = dead dog
Almost everyone is a jerk on occasion. Low level anyway. But a villain will go out his way to do harm (yes, I know, they have their reasons). As I said, jerks may do more harm (expensive oil rig safety stuff – screw it) but somehow the folks who do evil “because they get some sort of pleasure or benefit out of it” engender more hate from me.
Be that as it may, I totally agree that Roz is waaay less enjoyable than Mike. I think the reason has nothing to do with them as “people” (both would be bad to be around in the real world) but the fact that Mike is over-the-top wacky twisted:
A rabid rabbit is not funny. A rabbit blown up is not funny. A rabbit defeating medieval knights in armour and then being done in by the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch while brave Sir Robin is #%$$!!# his knickers, is funny.
Guy dissing his girlfriend – not funny. Mike berating (AmazinGirl?) Amber while trapped in a 5 story tall eclair monster and being wrong about it – funny.
Roz is just a pain – not funny. I don’t hate her (she’s a comic strip character folks) but I wish she and most of the plots that she rode in on would go away. I can watch normal people be petty self centered jerks to decent nice other people (& they’re in 3D too!) I want weird and wonderful plots that I can’t see at the DMV / gas station: Aliens and madmen with hamsters and flying cars and 5 story tall eclair monsters and and and what I get is all these Feeeeeelings and squishy soft people issues.
Sigh, and I still hang around (for the comments of all things). Sheesh, I could be a character on the strip I’m so angstyish.
Roz is a hedonist with a taste for schadenfreude and gossip, plain and simple. Of course, most evil is done in the name of selfishness, not for the sake of being evil. If you’re looking for a sociopath, how are you unsatisfied by Mike? He’s kicked little girls in the face!
Except for her lack of deliberation in harming others, she definitely qualifies as a villain. She gets in the way of the main characters’ goals, she causes them harm, and generally messes things up.
Oh yeah… the “I banged your mom” isn’t something that would go over well.
Who’ll take it worse, Amber or Mike?
Amber probably. If Mike retaliates, I doubt it’ll be because he feels threatened by Jacob. More just that Jacob is opening himself to be a target and Mike loves a good target.
Not because Mike is threatened abput Amber. Because Jacob got the banging of the mum in first.
Mike is a champion mom-banger. He can respect his competition when they get the better of him — it happens so rarely, after all.
@Volkai
Mike isn’t a respectful competitior, he’s an asshole(and we love him for it). Even if he does respect Jacob, he’ll still kick his ass just because he CAN and that excuse is too good to waste. Either that, or he’ll shrug his shoulders, go “meh”, and walk off. Whichever seems douchier at the time.
Amber, though I am more upset then either of them could ever be. I WANTED TO BANG HER!!! TT_TT
Crap…now I can’t get the tune to “If I could be like Mike” out of my head…
Unless Mike said it?
Erm…WHY does this interest Roz enough to stick around? Does she have a thing for MILF-related sex stories?
Because Roz is someone who, when seeing a situation, immediately figures out a way to exploit it.
Roz likes sex. And anyone can guess the story of “How I banged my crush’s mom” is going to be interesting.
That’s the plot of “The Graduate”!
Are you telling me if you heard a story like that you wouldn’t stick around? It’s pure rubbernecking, man. I mean, damn. Imagine someone say that near you and tell me your ears wouldn’t perk up.
Kinda? You mean he’s not sure?
Well, when it comes to “kinda banging” it means you probably went in through the out door.
Oh, everyone knows when you use ‘kinda’ when admiting something, it’s because you’re ashamed to admit it…
ding ding
Dammit Willis, you couldn’t have “dinged” on the “in through the out door” comment? lol
Well he was kinda drunk and she obviously wasn’t his only adventure that evening. After awhile all those faces start blurring together (or so I hear).
Funny punchline is funny, regardless of who utters it. XD
If nothing else, you have to give Roz credit for being consistent.
Like, “Hellooo…” but with clearer intent XD
i hope Roz doesn’t use this against him.
The response will probably be “sex me nightly, and I won’t tell Amber you banged her mom.”
And this is going to be the foundation of their character arc. He’ll have sex with Roz on a regular basis, to the point they unknowingly form a real relationship. And it’ll be that relationship that he uses as a gauge for love.
Haaaaaate…
Booooring.
Mike fucks Jacob?
Mmmm….Eyecandy.
I’m pretty sure Mike will fuck everyone sooner or later. Even you and me.
Cingularikitty?
*squick*
It’s like it’s made of orifices!
Now back to AT&TKitty!
Hmm. Sounds alright.
So where IS Amber’s mom, anyway?
Back home, I guess. It’s about a week since she visited.
Most likely at home, returned to her normal life.
She’s probably in a corner, huddled up and exhausted…Jacob *was* repressing for a LONG time…
Visiting a gynecologist.
no, Jacob, you don’t deserve Amber
i mean, you haven’t really done anything that bad. like, you’re an okay guy i guess.
So, I haven’t read too many of the comments in the archives but, of what I’ve read, I’ve noticed how so many of them are just hating on characters. Don’t get me started on the whole “hating Roz is so hot right now” mentality everyone seems to be having. The one thing I found shocking was the hatred for Amber and Mike being together and how many people think it’s a horrible idea. I’m pretty sure Mike has liked her for quite a long while or at least that’s the vibe I got from him. They may not be the best relationship but I think they work. Amber has gotten more and more confident in herself and mike has finally been able to open up a little. For most of the comic he’s been a flat character but now you see glimmers of kindness and a sense of normal human emotion. He is the male version of what the Japanese like to call tsundere, but with more violence.
I actually like the Amber/Mike relationship, but it is seriously messed up. Amber’s blackmail qualifies as rape, and she showed no interest in Mike before she realized she could control him. Mike, meanwhile, has taken advantage of this to fuck with Amber’s mind. People object to both rape and manipulation.
Roz, meanwhile, is a serious bitch and deserves the hate she gets.
Technically, Amber’s blackmail qualifies as ATTEMPTED rape.
(Mike was too screwed up to fall for the blackmail, but she had no way of knowing that.)
Long before Amber knew about Mike’s alcohol thing, she wrote stories about how Mike was a mummy who secretly loved her even though he was a jerk on the outside. She’s liked him for a long time, and certainly before “she knew she could control him.”
Ohhh, goody, now I’ve got an image of Mike as Edward Cullen in my head. DAMMIT WILLIS.
>Mike
>Raped
lolno. Like British Guy Who’s Name I Don’t Remember said, Mike doesn’t do anything unless he wants to.
David, like Jacob I am a recovering sex-addict. Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you. You are using my affliction as part of a comedic storyline, but I DO still have a sense of humor about it, thank the gods. Besides, the comedy mostly revolves around other people’s reactions to Jacob… Jacob himself is the straight man (pun intended) and is somewhat pathetic in a nobly-struggling-not-to-be-pathetic way. And oh yeah,: I hate Roz now. She is like someone who hands an alchy a bottle or a junkie a needle. I hope she comes to a sticky end (deadpan, no joke) somewhere down the line. Not that that means you should alter your dpeiction in any way: every story needs antagonists/villains. I just want to be clear about my viewpoint now: Roz is a villain.
I wouldn’t really call her a “villain” as that implies purposefully malicious actions. Roz doesn’t believe in sex addiction, so she thinks she’s just bangin’ some hot guy.
If we slapped the “villain” label on anyone who has ever harmed someone else due to being misguided, we’d have to apply it to nearly everyone. Throughout all of history. Religion has been around for a while, after all.
Honestly, that’s part of what I love about Shortpacked! – it has the occasional villain, but the villains are so much less trouble than the people who are just misguided or selfish. I mean, hell, no one even bothers to hate on Syndey Yus, because her cartoonish villainy just isn’t interesting next to the clusterfuck that is how Roz relates to people.
…Aaawww, you had to go and ruin a perfectly good Roz hatefest with Amberhate.
I only just now noticed Jacob’s expression of desperate panic aimed at Amber’s hinder in the cast image at the top right of the page.
…Son of a gun.
I just thought that was him sheepishly looking away from Galasso, who’s yelling at him.
I always interpreted it as a wistful look.
I’ve been seeing it as an extension of this comic, where Jacob is clearly thinking Amber’s a nice girl stuck in a terrible relationship with a total jerkass.
This does make me think Amber would be pretty much the worst thing for Jacob. I mean, I like Amber, but they’re both so navel-gazey and built to crack along a lot of the same fault lines. Jacob/Amber would just dengenerate into endless weeks of worrying about who said what wrong, and oh noes, this is all my fault, and what should we do about our endless battles over the dishes?
On the other hand, Jacob, with all his problems, is no Being Staked to An Anthill, and thus far too good for Roz.
Roz’s speech bubble in panel one is a nice touch, Willis. It drives home how selfish and indifferent she is.
That or she’s just making a stab at keeping it light, before conceding the battle, before succumbing to the temptation to come back and watch the train wreck.
Just keep walking, Roz. There are not enough kitties and puppies in the world to help dig you out of the hole you are about to create.
I would of banged her as well… Whoaa did I just say that!?
I knew Roz is up to no good.
And yes i do feel sorry for Jacob… How can you treat someone who is a nypho? Perhaps Jacob needs to go on a vacation?
To the Bahamas? At a resort filled with sexy female women?
Overdose him on Sex might actually work.
>implying that Roz is not aversion therapy for sex.
I still hold hope for Roz! Maybe, somewhere under all of it, she’s just socially awkward, and only knows sex to be expressive…maybe…possibly.
Of course, she’s probably as much of an addict as Jacob. They really do deserve each other! … Mostly I really like Mikamber.
Why do I have feeling Mike will hi-five Jacob?
I kind of get the impression that Roz was hoping that the sex would lead into something more from him. When he started spouting off about Amber, she decided to leave because it wasn’t fun & because it wasn’t all about her. She might not necessarily want Jacob or really want a relationship at all- she just wants to be the one who is desired & the center of attention.
When she heard that he banged Amber’s mom, Roz probably wanted to stay because she likes a good train wreck & because she sees where she can turn it around to her own benefit.
The only thing Roz wanted from Jacob was a minimum of two orgasms and that he rememebered to keep his condoms up-to-date.
She was already starting to leave before he mentioned being in-love with Amber in the previous comic because she got sex from him and that’s all she wanted from him. When he started talking about Amber, Roz seemed more like “What part of my ‘no-strings’ or ‘no stupid emotional sharing’ comment did you not understand?”
There’s no question that she wants attention and the spotlight, but considering how she’s still a relatively new character, I don’t think she’s developed enough to move past her existing shallowness yet.
Yeah, but there’s a lot of girls who say “no strings” in order to rope the other person in & then try to work a booty call into a relationship or some semblance of one.
Might i say I love Amber and Mike as a couple. They are adorable together. XD. Yeah, sure they have their problems and they’re messed up but neither one was completely “healthy” or “normal” to begin with. I really love seeing them together and seeing Mikes soft side, or “softer” side.
And I don’t CARE for Roz, but I don’t hate her. I also hope that Robin keeps her job and house only because it’s easier to fous on many characters at once when they almost all live in the same house.
And I miss Mike…
MikexAmber is the most interesting thing to happen with Mike in his character’s entire history, including It’s Walky! He’s starting to have more than one emotion, and developing a personality beyond “jerkass”.
The fact that said personality is an expression of his jerkassery, in my opinion, actually makes it better writing. He’s not doing a complete heelfaceturn, and he’s not revealing some DEEP PERSONAL TRAGEDY. He’s still an asshole, but an asshole in new, exciting ways.
MIKE AND ROZ should be a couple. I can’t believe I’m the first to think of this.
Unrelated: is it odd that I’m strangely comforted by Roz’s indifference? If I was to open up to someone it’s be a bit of a comfort that I don’t need to worry about saying the wrong thing, because she is capable of cheerfully ignoring the darnedest thing I say anyway.
I like to believe that this is all leading up to Amber and Ethan siccing Mike on Roz and telling him to ‘do his worst,’ then be horrified by the results.
Or, perhaps, Mike siccing himself on Jacob for moving in on his territory?
Blackmail relationship number 2…?
I’d say it’s possible. Only difference is, unlike Mike, the blackmail would work on Jacob. I always figured Mike kind of liked the weird relationship with Amber – guy probably couldn’t do a “normal” relationship. Amber and Mike are cute in a twisted way. I think Jacob would probably crack under a blackmail relationship.
I was wondering when it would be revealed that he banged her mom >:D
God I love Roz so much! Her awesomeness knows no bounds.
wait wait….how old is ROZ?
Same age as Jacob.
I kind of like Roz a little bit more now because she wears a frontsie.
I like how everyone either is in love with or wants Amber. Mike, Jacob, Faz, Robin…