Can’t believe I’m saying this, but don’t fire Faz, I love/hate Faz.
Monkeyfeathers! I was too busy commenting on DoA to get here in time.
And you have got to explain how anyone can so much as like Faz.
Faz wasn’t always the way he is now… When he first showed up he was more like some really cynical guy who knew how to work the system, and it was like a battle of wits between him and Ethan. He didn’t even refer to himself in the third person. Amber drove the poor guy crazy, it seems. Maybe getting fired is the best thing that could happen to him.
People love to hate him. Face it, he’s funny! Like Basil Fawlty, you’d hate him in RL, but it’s fun to watch him.
Nobody hates Basil Fawlty unless you’re from Barcelona!
I just genuinely root for Faz. There’s no hate there at all.
Fez is fun to read. And even though he’s done some jerky things he’s always so ineffective you have to kinda pity him.
Faz, not Fez.
Your Shriner fetish is showing
I SAY GOOD DAY!
Great, Now I’ll be imagining the shortpacked crew as that 70′s show characters for a week
Faz is the one you love to hate! Like Belkar from Oots. Or Pintsize from QC.
You can fire Faz if you want, but will it really make him go away?
I like Faz. He’s hilarious, dunno why everyone hates his guts. Asides from the fact that he’s…well, Faz. I personally find Robin to be annoying. Really annoying.
If it were anyone other than Mike I would hug him.
I would still hug him. I love Mike. <3 I care not if he would hate my guts for even saying that, I speak only the truth.
Aeneas, is that you?
Is there any tribute to Mike better than loving him because it would piss him off?
Isn’t that what Amber’s doing?
AAAAAAArgh! What are you doing here?! You can’t read this popular and well written webcomic, despite the fact that has gone around our social circle! I must keep my internets separate from my real worlds! Out! Out I say!
But yes… I love Mike as well. I don’t even have to call no-homo because he is a force of nature.
In his way, Mike is the most useful person in the whole store. Possibly the whole strip. Possibly the whole universe?
Wait… Mike is being helpful… -_- somethings up…
Maybe he wants Faz to stop hitting on his girl?
Faz has been moved to the top of the list at his own request, which is why Mike is trying to destroy him.
Maybe, but he also sees a chance to destroy a man’s life/dreams/career, which for Mike is probably better than sex. That it’s Faz and it helps his girlfriend are fringe benefits.
He’s not helping, he’s enabling.
I love you Mike.
Spread your influence, spread it.
Is the other half… Irish?
Had Faz been a legitimate child, he’d be Faz O’Malley.
Oh God. Oh God, why?
Though, it does explain his seeming indestructibility.
Is the top half or the bottom half of Faz Asian?
The inner half. Very complicated. Faz has charts, though. Because Faz is great.
Faz is fucking victorious is what he is.
Nyo-ho! Keep at it, Mike, you’ll learn her yet!
Still, I have to wonder what’s at play here.
The romantic idealist in me wants to say it’s Mike’s recognition of Amber’s genuine dismay over the issue…..RIGHT.
More likely, I would guess it’s either Mike’s hatred for Faz at play, or there’s something more to this that we know.
I think Mike is just enjoying converting Amber to the dark side.
Wait. How does Mike know Faz is only half asian?
Assuming that it’s true that Faz is Amber’s half-sibling, Faz was probably raised by a single Korean mother. Faz probably never knew his father, and thus doesn’t know that he is only half-Asian (or at least doesn’t think of himself as such). So how is Amber going to spring this demographic trap on him without admitting that she and Faz are related? Even if she gets Faz fired, Amber probably won’t like all of the results of this plot.
Never, ever trust sober Mike to be helpful.
I think what’s more likely is that Faz knows he’s half-asian… but since he probably hasn’t told Amber that, she’s not actually supposed to know about it.
Ah, but we know that Mike loves Amber. He may be more apt to be legitimately helpful to her.
Or, of course, he could be pushing Amber into telling Faz about the whole “half-sibling” thing. Shit will hit the fan in interesting ways when that tidbit comes out.
Mike’s “loved” someone before, Dina, though it was up in the air whether there was enough proof that he did legitimately love her, or if it was just to piss Walky off.
He let Walky beat him almost to death over her death…kinda think that goes in the “He loved her.” column.
Makes sense. There’s no way Faz had anything resembling a positive, or even sane, male role model growing up.
Awwwww, Mike really does care.
Or is setting up a bigger asshole stunt.
Either way: Awwww, Mike.
Why can’t both be true?
Mike’s ulterior motives fuck Faz?
Let’s hope Mike’s ulterior motives are female; it’d bring Faz down to a 4 on the Kinsey Scale.
I have a lingering feeling Mike’s motives more have to do with Jacob.
Willis, you magnificent bastard.
I’m certain I’ll be saying the exact opposite by the time you resolve this storyline.
I absolutely love Amber’s grin in the last panel.
In fact, IMO everything on that panel’s perfect. From Amber’s grin, to Mike’s stance. It’s both a “dawwww! how sweet” moment, and “look out! evil gears turning.”
Willis you magnificent bastard I’m reading your book!
I totally imagine that phrase being said by Linkara any time i read it.
I try to, but having actually seen Patton it’s kinda hard.
Aww… I think this is the equivalent of Mike giving amber flowers. The bastard loverh er.
Here I was thinking Mike was either going to suggest:
1) Driving all asians out of the city, to change the demographics.
2) Sleeping with non-Asian mothers until he changes the demographics.
3) Not a suggestion, but simply alluding to the situation with Jacob and Amber’s mother.
Naw… The first idea would require manipulation of the massses, and Mike doesn’t seem to care enough to do that. The second idea meanwhile would take too much time to be effective. And number three… he’s probably saving that for Christmas or Thanksgiving.
He’s already done number 2, he just needs to rope up all the non-Asian mothers’ kids (if they have them) so he can tell them “I fucked your moms”
Oh, Mike, you glorious asshole!
This is going to backfire on all involved, I suspect.
But I can’t wait to see how.
Mike is brilliant.
Wait… Wouldn’t Galasso be concerned about the black demographic? Currently they make up 10% of his work force. Shouldn’t he have a black person on staff to appease that demographic? He seems to be only focusing on the Asian demographic… Is this a city with no black people?
Less than 10% of the population of San Fransico is black, so, for Galasso’s purposes, essentially, yes.
Or more likely, Galasso would just hire a second half-asian…
A half black/asian.
Even if Faz got fired, he’s just stick around like Milton from office space. Does anyone really think it’s even possible to get rid of Faz?
He’s sort of like a case of herpes that way.
They could kill Faz with fire, but I get the feeling he would then either
a.) hang around the store perpetually on fire, or
b.) die and haunt their dreams, Freddy Krueger style.
Don’t forget, Milton didn’t leave because no one fired him, not because he just felt like hanging around.
I’d be more apt to compare the situation to that of Dr. Kelso on Scrubs after he retired, except for the whole “turns out to be a nice guy off the job” part.
Aw, Mike, look how happy you’ve made Amber! <3
Okay, it may be just me, but it’s almost like Mike’s standing there “Amber, if you want evil douchebaggery done, I’m your man, but you’re making it way too easy on me. I didn’t even have to bang his mom like your dad did.”
Good, good… Give into the dark side Amber… Strike Faz down! And fullfill your destiny!
Or something like that. I’m not enough of a Star Wars fan to get the dialogue accurate.
Now I’m trying to figure something out… is Mike trying to be nice or evil? Cause… it seems like this could go either way.
Can’t it be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Oh my gosh I love Mike! And I adore Mike/Amber. So if Jacob tries to get between them I will have a SERIOUS rage. We would miss all the wonderfulness exhibited by the above comic!
We hereby form the new Mike/Amber fanclub XD (Just please,please don’t shorten their 2 names into one like those celebrity stalker people do =p)
I dub them “Miber”
GAH!!!! That is in all ways contradicting the rules of the club! …Tell the truth. You’re just trying to be spiteful like Mike, aren’t you? :p
Totally freaking agree. As much as I love toys and randomness, Mike and Amber are what seal the deal for me. So much love for them.
Amber looks painfully adorable in the third panels. Actually, all the panels! Everyone is cute in this comic! How odd.
Oh, Mike. You glorious bastard. I love you.
Mike actually doing something that would make someone feel better, other than him? Sure, yeah, it screws Faz over, but to hell with that guy, he’s creepy anyways. I’m trying to remember that word, german, that means “A face badly in need of a fist.” That’s Faz to a T.
Is there really a german word that means that? Cause if there is, I think I need to raise a glass to the german language. German: bringing us words like ‘taking pleasure in others’ misfortune’ and ‘a face in need of a fist.’
So how long has Mike been fluent?
“Backpfeifengesicht,” but heck if I can pronounce it.
Here you go. Just hit “Listen”.
I get the funny feeling Mike is trying to be nice AND incite lulz for himself at the same time. He’s probably grown bored with just beating Faz senseless and fucking people’s moms.
But don’t forget, he’s pretty much second best in the Walkyverse at emotional manipulation. Maybe even first best, because while Head Alien usually needs actual leverage in the form of traumatic events, all Mike needs is a week or so to get to know you so he can point out your crippling character flaws if and when the trouble they cause bites you in the ass.
So yeah, there’s that.
Okay, emotional manipulation is the wrong word. “Making you borderline-self-loathing and/or pissed off while using something other than fists and mom-fucking jokes” is better.
Mike can instantly ruin your week.
Head Alien, after a few months, will utterly decimate your life.
True. But don’t forget, we’ve seen that without some sort of leverage Head Alien can’t do jack shit, emotionally speaking, as evidenced here: http://www.itswalky.com/d/20031214.html
All Mike needs is some time to get to know you.
And again, I did say “possibly” first best. There’s no denying Head Alien’s pretty damn good.
Only now do I believe that Mike truly loves Amber.
Amber’s face in the last panel is like a kids at christmas.
I love Mike right now. Even though he’s not drunk.
I withdraw the previous comment about large lips and Asians: http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/01-dominus-jacobus/revelation/
Best case scenario, Jacob stays, both Asian guys stay on so that Faz can be called out on every single ridiculous Asian stereotype he fulfills (except sexy Asian)!
Worst case scenario… new Asian guy really turns out to be Pat Lee.
I still think the math is wrong since 99% of the stuff in the store is made in Asia to begin with.
OH so that Asian guy yesterday WASN’T Ethan dressing up as an Asian guy to potentially keep his job?
Man that makes me feel somewhat more stupid now. >_<
I love Amber and Mike. xD
And somehow, I don’t think Faz is going to disappear…his lust for Amber is far too entertaining.
What is not being discussed is that Mike is saving Jaccob the man in love with Amber. He is causing more trouble for himself and Amber.
It’s Mike. It’s entirely possible he’s doing that so that Jacob is consistently close by for Mike’s destructive needs. It would be so much easier to humiliate him in public if he’s already in the store.
Then again, Mike may be just delaying Jacob’s demise out of respect for the fact that Jacob banged Amber’s mom.
THIS IS THE BEST CLIFFHANGER EVER
This is why Mike/Amber is my OTP.
Checking the archives, I re-read this strip, and I noticed that Ethan hasn’t suffered for “pwning” Mike then … yet. So … when’s the payback coming?
To me, Mike is like Diogenes the Cynic (old dead Greek dude, originally from Sinope, got exiled). Diogenes thought it was his mission from the gods to combat unjust/illogical social conventions by doing weird/crazy/disruptive things. (Example: masturbating in public & then saying, “If only hunger were as easily satisfied.”)
In his day, people either thought Diogenes was an asshole or a genius.
Mike is like Diogenes, except he doesn’t target society as a whole, he targets individuals. Anytime someone around him is lying to themselves, he intervenes, often in a way that demonstrates the lie.
He pointed out that Ethan was a hypocrite with his thing about “I’m not the kind of guy that uses sex to get a promotion, but I slept with the boss’s daughter to get a promotion”. He pointed out that Ethan was being an asshole when he abandoned his friendship with Amber for dressing differently. He kissed Ethan to prove he was gay because Robin wanted to delude herself into believing he was not. Even attacking Faz can be written off as targeting Faz for his delusions of hooking up with Amber.
He doesn’t seem to bother people who are not lying to themselves. In “It’s Walky!”, he hung out with Jason a lot, & the only time he made a crack about Jason’s crush on Sal was when he bitched about her telling him something, after years of bitching about her not telling him stuff. I don’t remember Mike bothering Leslie, but then Leslie has always been realistic (albeit, hopeful) about her relationship with Robin.
As for the Mike/Amber relationship, I don’t think he ever did it because of the blackmail. He was fine with the “It’s Walky!” bunch knowing he’s a happy drunk. If that info getting out was a major threat, he wouldn’t have left orange shirts so prominently displayed or left empty booze bottles all over Leslie’s house. I think Mike went along with Amber because she was *not* lying to herself about the relationship. It was only when she started to waiver that he started poking at her about it. I think Mike saw Amber hitting him as her way of proclaiming that she wasn’t letting him push her around. Thus, he’s fine with the relationship again.
Also, I have no idea how the gravatar thing works. I clicked the “get a gravatar” thing and it took me somewhere weird. I totally wanted to pick Mike.
Gravatar.com is a separate site that enables you to set an avatar tied to your e-mail that will be used on any site that uses Gravatars. If you don’t have a Gravatar account, you get one of the random default avatars, such as Mike or Cyclops getting pooped on.
Amber’s got an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. It’ll get her in trouble one day.
(Seriously, it’s a job at a toy store. Jacob is perfectly capable of moving on.)
Is it wrong that I’m liking Amber more and more as she discards the large part of her insecure moral posturing?
I used to dislike her intensely, but I’m seriously warming up to her. Mike may or may not be converting her to the dark side (I hope he is) but the more comfortable she is in her own skin, and the less quick she is to berate other people for their own failings the more I appreciate her place in the strip.
Heh, no. Amber is being an incredible choad, and she doesn’t have any justification for it whatsoever. Jacob is a no-call, no-show for a week. That means he’s fired, period. She’s just using her inappropriate guiltiness surrounding Jacob as an excuse to sadistically torment Faz.
I hope Mike dumps her dishonest ass.
He fell back off the wagon. That could be argued as a medical reason.
So the store is obligated to hire an alcoholic? Don’t be silly; “not showing up” isn’t a Reasonable Accomodation.
Also, it’s still a crappy retail job. No, Amber is totally without justification here, and it’s awesome.
This is probably the first good thing Amber has heard out of Faz might be her half brother.
I think Mike actually, genuinely, loves Amber. Given an out, I don’t think he would take the opportunity. He likes the fact that he has had an influence on/corrupted Amber, and she likes the confidence it has given her. It’s like a parasitic relationship, where they sap things they want off of each other.
Well, I think he loves her, but I’m not sure he knows it. And I think if he knew it, he might end the relationship. Not to hurt her, but because he honestly believes he doesn’t have the right to be happy.
In any case… I love Mike. He’s awesome. And I wouldn’t change anything about him. He makes things interesting, he intrigues me… And you never quite know his real motivation… He plans so far ahead that I doubt we would ever be able to find it out either… Does Willis even know if there’s a happy ending for Mike?
Oh there’s no question that he actually love her. And I’m pretty sure he knows it. After all, he admitted it to her. And the fact he loves Amber is the only reason he hasn’t found a way out of the relationship yet. It’s Mike after all. If he wants something done, he’ll do it.
But still given the chance, he’ll still throw her under the bus if the opportunity rose up, solely because of the fact he would find it amuse. Mike is the ultimate asshole after all.
And Amber knows that. She expects him to screw with her head and try be a jerk and evil. And she’s able to take whatever he dishes out and at times even throw it right back at him.
That’s what makes this relationship so weird. Its not remotely healthy in any way, but it works for them, because both of them accept the other as who they are.
God, these two would make for the most bizarre Lifetime Movie EVER.
Oh and Mike ALWAYS gets the happy ending. Whether its the kind of Happy Ending we’re thinking of however is probably something else entirely.
Mike was useful? I mean, yes, his suggestion screws up Faz, but Mike’s “help” tend to screw the person he is “helping” as well. See what he did to Ethan when he asked help to get hid of Faz back then.
Started reading a while ago, just got done with the archive. Really awesome.
Amber would forget/repress the memory of her discovery that Faz is her half brother.
This will obviously screw Amber. If Galasso becomes concerned about demographics to the point of counting half people, he will fire Jacob and replace him with somebody who’s half black. If that somebody is also half-Asian, then Faz can stay. It appears KiZer was thinking the same thing I’m thinking, and is therefore a genius. Also, I suspect Mike knows a half-black-half-Asian who’s a real jerk, and is looking for work.
Oh, Mike, you dastardly dastard, you.
Now my screen is all wet from me trying to kiss Mike.
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