Shortpacked! by David Willis

Toys are serious business.
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Half

by David Willis on October 15, 2010 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Minorities Report

└ Tags: amber, mike

Discussion (119) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Joebo
    Joebo
    October 15, 2010 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Can’t believe I’m saying this, but don’t fire Faz, I love/hate Faz.

    • MrGBH
      MrGBH
      October 15, 2010 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

      Monkeyfeathers! I was too busy commenting on DoA to get here in time.
      And you have got to explain how anyone can so much as like Faz.

      • Pez
        Pez
        October 15, 2010 at 12:44 am | # | Reply

        Faz wasn’t always the way he is now… When he first showed up he was more like some really cynical guy who knew how to work the system, and it was like a battle of wits between him and Ethan. He didn’t even refer to himself in the third person. Amber drove the poor guy crazy, it seems. Maybe getting fired is the best thing that could happen to him.

      • ADHadh
        ADHadh
        October 15, 2010 at 6:46 am | # | Reply

        People love to hate him. Face it, he’s funny! Like Basil Fawlty, you’d hate him in RL, but it’s fun to watch him.

        • Grandus
          Grandus
          October 15, 2010 at 11:37 am | # | Reply

          Nobody hates Basil Fawlty unless you’re from Barcelona!

          • ADHadh
            ADHadh
            October 18, 2010 at 8:38 am | # | Reply

            Que?

        • Jimmy
          Jimmy
          October 16, 2010 at 11:40 am | # | Reply

          I just genuinely root for Faz. There’s no hate there at all.

      • Nanu
        Nanu
        October 16, 2010 at 7:35 am | # | Reply

        Fez is fun to read. And even though he’s done some jerky things he’s always so ineffective you have to kinda pity him.

        • Nanu
          Nanu
          October 16, 2010 at 7:36 am | # | Reply

          Faz, not Fez.

        • Tarpo
          Tarpo
          October 16, 2010 at 7:44 am | # | Reply

          Your Shriner fetish is showing

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          October 17, 2010 at 12:57 am | # | Reply

          I SAY GOOD DAY!

          • Nanu
            Nanu
            October 17, 2010 at 11:58 am | # | Reply

            Great, Now I’ll be imagining the shortpacked crew as that 70′s show characters for a week

      • Badger
        Badger
        August 23, 2011 at 5:15 pm | # | Reply

        Faz is the one you love to hate! Like Belkar from Oots. Or Pintsize from QC.

    • LT
      LT
      October 23, 2010 at 10:27 am | # | Reply

      You can fire Faz if you want, but will it really make him go away?

    • Austinman
      Austinman
      January 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm | # | Reply

      I like Faz. He’s hilarious, dunno why everyone hates his guts. Asides from the fact that he’s…well, Faz. I personally find Robin to be annoying. Really annoying.

  2. MrGBH
    MrGBH
    October 15, 2010 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    If it were anyone other than Mike I would hug him.

    • Cinder
      Cinder
      October 15, 2010 at 2:11 am | # | Reply

      I would still hug him. I love Mike. <3 I care not if he would hate my guts for even saying that, I speak only the truth.

      • MusicalHeart88
        MusicalHeart88
        October 15, 2010 at 3:34 am | # | Reply

        Dido.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          October 15, 2010 at 11:42 am | # | Reply

          Aeneas, is that you?

      • Viktor
        Viktor
        October 15, 2010 at 4:27 am | # | Reply

        Is there any tribute to Mike better than loving him because it would piss him off?

        • AndrewFoose
          AndrewFoose
          October 15, 2010 at 7:12 am | # | Reply

          Isn’t that what Amber’s doing?

      • Tom
        Tom
        October 18, 2010 at 10:25 pm | # | Reply

        AAAAAAArgh! What are you doing here?! You can’t read this popular and well written webcomic, despite the fact that has gone around our social circle! I must keep my internets separate from my real worlds! Out! Out I say!

        But yes… I love Mike as well. I don’t even have to call no-homo because he is a force of nature.

  3. J.P.
    J.P.
    October 15, 2010 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    In his way, Mike is the most useful person in the whole store. Possibly the whole strip. Possibly the whole universe?

  4. Mirenheart
    Mirenheart
    October 15, 2010 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Wait… Mike is being helpful… -_- somethings up…

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      October 15, 2010 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

      Maybe he wants Faz to stop hitting on his girl?

      • No0ne
        No0ne
        October 15, 2010 at 1:55 am | # | Reply

        Faz has been moved to the top of the list at his own request, which is why Mike is trying to destroy him.

      • Matt
        Matt
        October 15, 2010 at 12:43 pm | # | Reply

        Maybe, but he also sees a chance to destroy a man’s life/dreams/career, which for Mike is probably better than sex. That it’s Faz and it helps his girlfriend are fringe benefits.

    • StClair
      StClair
      October 17, 2010 at 11:26 am | # | Reply

      He’s not helping, he’s enabling.

  5. katamanda
    katamanda
    October 15, 2010 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    I love you Mike.

    Spread your influence, spread it.

  6. John
    John
    October 15, 2010 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    Is the other half… Irish?

    • CJ
      CJ
      October 15, 2010 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

      Had Faz been a legitimate child, he’d be Faz O’Malley.

      Oh God. Oh God, why?

      Though, it does explain his seeming indestructibility.

  7. cappadocius
    cappadocius
    October 15, 2010 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Is the top half or the bottom half of Faz Asian?

    • Jacob Sevare
      Jacob Sevare
      October 15, 2010 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

      The inner half. Very complicated. Faz has charts, though. Because Faz is great.

      • Bryy Miller
        Bryy Miller
        October 15, 2010 at 5:27 am | # | Reply

        Faz is fucking victorious is what he is.

  8. Daeva
    Daeva
    October 15, 2010 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

    Nyo-ho! Keep at it, Mike, you’ll learn her yet!

    Still, I have to wonder what’s at play here.

    SPECULATION AHOY!

    The romantic idealist in me wants to say it’s Mike’s recognition of Amber’s genuine dismay over the issue…..RIGHT.

    More likely, I would guess it’s either Mike’s hatred for Faz at play, or there’s something more to this that we know.

    • JesseJane
      JesseJane
      October 15, 2010 at 11:45 am | # | Reply

      I think Mike is just enjoying converting Amber to the dark side.

  9. Tam Ashdene
    Tam Ashdene
    October 15, 2010 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

    Wait. How does Mike know Faz is only half asian?

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      October 15, 2010 at 12:38 am | # | Reply

      http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/01-dominus-jacobus/laugh/ <—-

  10. Everyl
    Everyl
    October 15, 2010 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

    Assuming that it’s true that Faz is Amber’s half-sibling, Faz was probably raised by a single Korean mother. Faz probably never knew his father, and thus doesn’t know that he is only half-Asian (or at least doesn’t think of himself as such). So how is Amber going to spring this demographic trap on him without admitting that she and Faz are related? Even if she gets Faz fired, Amber probably won’t like all of the results of this plot.

    Never, ever trust sober Mike to be helpful.

    • BTA
      BTA
      October 15, 2010 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

      I think what’s more likely is that Faz knows he’s half-asian… but since he probably hasn’t told Amber that, she’s not actually supposed to know about it.

    • Sionyx
      Sionyx
      October 15, 2010 at 12:40 am | # | Reply

      Ah, but we know that Mike loves Amber. He may be more apt to be legitimately helpful to her.

      Or, of course, he could be pushing Amber into telling Faz about the whole “half-sibling” thing. Shit will hit the fan in interesting ways when that tidbit comes out.

      • Stolen
        Stolen
        October 18, 2010 at 11:43 pm | # | Reply

        Mike’s “loved” someone before, Dina, though it was up in the air whether there was enough proof that he did legitimately love her, or if it was just to piss Walky off.

        • Greenknight
          Greenknight
          May 12, 2013 at 2:43 pm | # | Reply

          He let Walky beat him almost to death over her death…kinda think that goes in the “He loved her.” column.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      October 15, 2010 at 1:23 am | # | Reply

      Makes sense. There’s no way Faz had anything resembling a positive, or even sane, male role model growing up.

  11. Beachfox
    Beachfox
    October 15, 2010 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

    Awwwww, Mike really does care.

    Or is setting up a bigger asshole stunt.

    Either way: Awwww, Mike.

    • PeaceInOurTime
      PeaceInOurTime
      October 15, 2010 at 2:01 am | # | Reply

      Why can’t both be true?

  12. CJ
    CJ
    October 15, 2010 at 12:42 am | # | Reply

    Mike’s ulterior motives fuck Faz?

    • Wackd
      Wackd
      October 15, 2010 at 5:31 pm | # | Reply

      Let’s hope Mike’s ulterior motives are female; it’d bring Faz down to a 4 on the Kinsey Scale.

  13. Tomb
    Tomb
    October 15, 2010 at 12:47 am | # | Reply

    I have a lingering feeling Mike’s motives more have to do with Jacob.

  14. ProfessorTomoe
    ProfessorTomoe
    October 15, 2010 at 12:51 am | # | Reply

    Willis, you magnificent bastard.

    I’m certain I’ll be saying the exact opposite by the time you resolve this storyline.

  15. Ascension
    Ascension
    October 15, 2010 at 12:52 am | # | Reply

    I absolutely love Amber’s grin in the last panel.

    • airfox
      airfox
      October 15, 2010 at 5:13 pm | # | Reply

      Me too!

      In fact, IMO everything on that panel’s perfect. From Amber’s grin, to Mike’s stance. It’s both a “dawwww! how sweet” moment, and “look out! evil gears turning.” :D

      -airfox

  16. turkishproverb
    turkishproverb
    October 15, 2010 at 12:58 am | # | Reply

    Willis you magnificent bastard I’m reading your book!

    • GoddamnDeadpool
      GoddamnDeadpool
      October 15, 2010 at 6:38 am | # | Reply

      I totally imagine that phrase being said by Linkara any time i read it.

      • Wackd
        Wackd
        October 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm | # | Reply

        I try to, but having actually seen Patton it’s kinda hard.

  17. Undrave
    Undrave
    October 15, 2010 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

    Aww… I think this is the equivalent of Mike giving amber flowers. The bastard loverh er.

  18. Discotron
    Discotron
    October 15, 2010 at 1:14 am | # | Reply

    Here I was thinking Mike was either going to suggest:
    1) Driving all asians out of the city, to change the demographics.
    2) Sleeping with non-Asian mothers until he changes the demographics.
    3) Not a suggestion, but simply alluding to the situation with Jacob and Amber’s mother.

    • Shift
      Shift
      October 15, 2010 at 2:40 am | # | Reply

      Naw… The first idea would require manipulation of the massses, and Mike doesn’t seem to care enough to do that. The second idea meanwhile would take too much time to be effective. And number three… he’s probably saving that for Christmas or Thanksgiving.

    • Matt
      Matt
      October 15, 2010 at 12:39 pm | # | Reply

      He’s already done number 2, he just needs to rope up all the non-Asian mothers’ kids (if they have them) so he can tell them “I fucked your moms”

  19. Confuzor
    Confuzor
    October 15, 2010 at 1:19 am | # | Reply

    Oh, Mike, you glorious asshole!

  20. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    October 15, 2010 at 1:25 am | # | Reply

    This is going to backfire on all involved, I suspect.

    But I can’t wait to see how.

  21. agentAK
    agentAK
    October 15, 2010 at 1:50 am | # | Reply

    Mike is brilliant.

    Wait… Wouldn’t Galasso be concerned about the black demographic? Currently they make up 10% of his work force. Shouldn’t he have a black person on staff to appease that demographic? He seems to be only focusing on the Asian demographic… Is this a city with no black people?

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      October 15, 2010 at 2:12 am | # | Reply

      Less than 10% of the population of San Fransico is black, so, for Galasso’s purposes, essentially, yes.

  22. KiZeR
    KiZeR
    October 15, 2010 at 1:58 am | # | Reply

    Or more likely, Galasso would just hire a second half-asian…

  23. KiZeR
    KiZeR
    October 15, 2010 at 1:59 am | # | Reply

    A half black/asian.

  24. Marvin
    Marvin
    October 15, 2010 at 2:06 am | # | Reply

    Even if Faz got fired, he’s just stick around like Milton from office space. Does anyone really think it’s even possible to get rid of Faz?

    • gwalla
      gwalla
      October 15, 2010 at 11:45 am | # | Reply

      He’s sort of like a case of herpes that way.

    • Matt B
      Matt B
      October 15, 2010 at 3:01 pm | # | Reply

      They could kill Faz with fire, but I get the feeling he would then either
      a.) hang around the store perpetually on fire, or
      b.) die and haunt their dreams, Freddy Krueger style.

    • Wackd
      Wackd
      October 15, 2010 at 5:35 pm | # | Reply

      Don’t forget, Milton didn’t leave because no one fired him, not because he just felt like hanging around.

      I’d be more apt to compare the situation to that of Dr. Kelso on Scrubs after he retired, except for the whole “turns out to be a nice guy off the job” part.

  25. Cinder
    Cinder
    October 15, 2010 at 2:15 am | # | Reply

    Aw, Mike, look how happy you’ve made Amber! <3

  26. Catjuggling
    Catjuggling
    October 15, 2010 at 2:21 am | # | Reply

    Okay, it may be just me, but it’s almost like Mike’s standing there “Amber, if you want evil douchebaggery done, I’m your man, but you’re making it way too easy on me. I didn’t even have to bang his mom like your dad did.”

  27. Shift
    Shift
    October 15, 2010 at 2:38 am | # | Reply

    Good, good… Give into the dark side Amber… Strike Faz down! And fullfill your destiny!

    Or something like that. I’m not enough of a Star Wars fan to get the dialogue accurate. :P

    Now I’m trying to figure something out… is Mike trying to be nice or evil? Cause… it seems like this could go either way.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      October 15, 2010 at 3:02 am | # | Reply

      Can’t it be both, like the late Earl Warren?

  28. MusicalHeart88
    MusicalHeart88
    October 15, 2010 at 3:37 am | # | Reply

    Oh my gosh I love Mike! And I adore Mike/Amber. So if Jacob tries to get between them I will have a SERIOUS rage. We would miss all the wonderfulness exhibited by the above comic!

    • Ruri
      Ruri
      October 15, 2010 at 5:19 am | # | Reply

      Agreed!

      We hereby form the new Mike/Amber fanclub XD (Just please,please don’t shorten their 2 names into one like those celebrity stalker people do =p)

      • Marcus
        Marcus
        October 15, 2010 at 5:27 am | # | Reply

        I dub them “Miber”

        • MusicalHeart88
          MusicalHeart88
          October 17, 2010 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

          GAH!!!! That is in all ways contradicting the rules of the club! …Tell the truth. You’re just trying to be spiteful like Mike, aren’t you? :p

    • Ruth
      Ruth
      October 15, 2010 at 10:28 am | # | Reply

      Totally freaking agree. As much as I love toys and randomness, Mike and Amber are what seal the deal for me. So much love for them.

  29. andersonfire
    andersonfire
    October 15, 2010 at 4:00 am | # | Reply

    Amber looks painfully adorable in the third panels. Actually, all the panels! Everyone is cute in this comic! How odd.

    Oh, Mike. You glorious bastard. I love you.

  30. jimfromtx
    jimfromtx
    October 15, 2010 at 5:16 am | # | Reply

    Mike actually doing something that would make someone feel better, other than him? Sure, yeah, it screws Faz over, but to hell with that guy, he’s creepy anyways. I’m trying to remember that word, german, that means “A face badly in need of a fist.” That’s Faz to a T.

    • JesseJane
      JesseJane
      October 15, 2010 at 11:49 am | # | Reply

      Is there really a german word that means that? Cause if there is, I think I need to raise a glass to the german language. German: bringing us words like ‘taking pleasure in others’ misfortune’ and ‘a face in need of a fist.’

      So how long has Mike been fluent?

    • Cy Reb, Jr.
      Cy Reb, Jr.
      October 15, 2010 at 1:45 pm | # | Reply

      “Backpfeifengesicht,” but heck if I can pronounce it.

      • J
        J
        October 18, 2010 at 9:43 pm | # | Reply

        Here you go. Just hit “Listen”.

  31. Zap
    Zap
    October 15, 2010 at 5:23 am | # | Reply

    I get the funny feeling Mike is trying to be nice AND incite lulz for himself at the same time. He’s probably grown bored with just beating Faz senseless and fucking people’s moms.

    • Wackd
      Wackd
      October 15, 2010 at 5:40 pm | # | Reply

      But don’t forget, he’s pretty much second best in the Walkyverse at emotional manipulation. Maybe even first best, because while Head Alien usually needs actual leverage in the form of traumatic events, all Mike needs is a week or so to get to know you so he can point out your crippling character flaws if and when the trouble they cause bites you in the ass.

      So yeah, there’s that.

      • Wackd
        Wackd
        October 15, 2010 at 5:42 pm | # | Reply

        Okay, emotional manipulation is the wrong word. “Making you borderline-self-loathing and/or pissed off while using something other than fists and mom-fucking jokes” is better.

        • SteveCharb
          SteveCharb
          October 17, 2010 at 3:30 am | # | Reply

          Mike can instantly ruin your week.
          Head Alien, after a few months, will utterly decimate your life.

          • Wackd
            Wackd
            October 17, 2010 at 11:23 am | # | Reply

            True. But don’t forget, we’ve seen that without some sort of leverage Head Alien can’t do jack shit, emotionally speaking, as evidenced here: http://www.itswalky.com/d/20031214.html

            All Mike needs is some time to get to know you.

          • Wackd
            Wackd
            October 17, 2010 at 11:24 am | # | Reply

            And again, I did say “possibly” first best. There’s no denying Head Alien’s pretty damn good.

  32. Kumata
    Kumata
    October 15, 2010 at 7:14 am | # | Reply

    Only now do I believe that Mike truly loves Amber.

  33. MarkLar
    MarkLar
    October 15, 2010 at 7:39 am | # | Reply

    Amber’s face in the last panel is like a kids at christmas.

  34. Andrea
    Andrea
    October 15, 2010 at 7:50 am | # | Reply

    Yesssssss……
    I love Mike right now. Even though he’s not drunk.

  35. Tom
    Tom
    October 15, 2010 at 8:17 am | # | Reply

    I withdraw the previous comment about large lips and Asians: http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/01-dominus-jacobus/revelation/

    Best case scenario, Jacob stays, both Asian guys stay on so that Faz can be called out on every single ridiculous Asian stereotype he fulfills (except sexy Asian)!

    Worst case scenario… new Asian guy really turns out to be Pat Lee.

  36. izzatrix
    izzatrix
    October 15, 2010 at 9:36 am | # | Reply

    I still think the math is wrong since 99% of the stuff in the store is made in Asia to begin with.

  37. Leilee
    Leilee
    October 15, 2010 at 10:02 am | # | Reply

    OH so that Asian guy yesterday WASN’T Ethan dressing up as an Asian guy to potentially keep his job?

    Man that makes me feel somewhat more stupid now. >_<

  38. Chamalaeon
    Chamalaeon
    October 15, 2010 at 10:50 am | # | Reply

    I love Amber and Mike. xD
    And somehow, I don’t think Faz is going to disappear…his lust for Amber is far too entertaining.

  39. hectoruno
    hectoruno
    October 15, 2010 at 10:52 am | # | Reply

    What is not being discussed is that Mike is saving Jaccob the man in love with Amber. He is causing more trouble for himself and Amber.

    • JesseJane
      JesseJane
      October 15, 2010 at 11:52 am | # | Reply

      It’s Mike. It’s entirely possible he’s doing that so that Jacob is consistently close by for Mike’s destructive needs. It would be so much easier to humiliate him in public if he’s already in the store.

      Then again, Mike may be just delaying Jacob’s demise out of respect for the fact that Jacob banged Amber’s mom.

  40. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    October 15, 2010 at 11:56 am | # | Reply

    :D :D :D :D

    THIS IS THE BEST CLIFFHANGER EVER

  41. agentksilver
    agentksilver
    October 15, 2010 at 1:04 pm | # | Reply

    This is why Mike/Amber is my OTP.

    • agentAK
      agentAK
      October 15, 2010 at 3:50 pm | # | Reply

      Seconded!

      • DYlogger
        DYlogger
        October 15, 2010 at 7:17 pm | # | Reply

        Yeah!

  42. airfox
    airfox
    October 15, 2010 at 5:34 pm | # | Reply

    David.

    Checking the archives, I re-read this strip, and I noticed that Ethan hasn’t suffered for “pwning” Mike then … yet. So … when’s the payback coming? :D

    -airfox

  43. I_like_Mike
    I_like_Mike
    October 15, 2010 at 9:16 pm | # | Reply

    To me, Mike is like Diogenes the Cynic (old dead Greek dude, originally from Sinope, got exiled). Diogenes thought it was his mission from the gods to combat unjust/illogical social conventions by doing weird/crazy/disruptive things. (Example: masturbating in public & then saying, “If only hunger were as easily satisfied.”)

    In his day, people either thought Diogenes was an asshole or a genius.
    Mike is like Diogenes, except he doesn’t target society as a whole, he targets individuals. Anytime someone around him is lying to themselves, he intervenes, often in a way that demonstrates the lie.

    He pointed out that Ethan was a hypocrite with his thing about “I’m not the kind of guy that uses sex to get a promotion, but I slept with the boss’s daughter to get a promotion”. He pointed out that Ethan was being an asshole when he abandoned his friendship with Amber for dressing differently. He kissed Ethan to prove he was gay because Robin wanted to delude herself into believing he was not. Even attacking Faz can be written off as targeting Faz for his delusions of hooking up with Amber.

    He doesn’t seem to bother people who are not lying to themselves. In “It’s Walky!”, he hung out with Jason a lot, & the only time he made a crack about Jason’s crush on Sal was when he bitched about her telling him something, after years of bitching about her not telling him stuff. I don’t remember Mike bothering Leslie, but then Leslie has always been realistic (albeit, hopeful) about her relationship with Robin.

    As for the Mike/Amber relationship, I don’t think he ever did it because of the blackmail. He was fine with the “It’s Walky!” bunch knowing he’s a happy drunk. If that info getting out was a major threat, he wouldn’t have left orange shirts so prominently displayed or left empty booze bottles all over Leslie’s house. I think Mike went along with Amber because she was *not* lying to herself about the relationship. It was only when she started to waiver that he started poking at her about it. I think Mike saw Amber hitting him as her way of proclaiming that she wasn’t letting him push her around. Thus, he’s fine with the relationship again.

    Also, I have no idea how the gravatar thing works. I clicked the “get a gravatar” thing and it took me somewhere weird. I totally wanted to pick Mike.

    • Viktor
      Viktor
      October 16, 2010 at 2:13 pm | # | Reply

      Gravatar.com is a separate site that enables you to set an avatar tied to your e-mail that will be used on any site that uses Gravatars. If you don’t have a Gravatar account, you get one of the random default avatars, such as Mike or Cyclops getting pooped on.

  44. Michael
    Michael
    October 15, 2010 at 9:46 pm | # | Reply

    Amber’s got an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. It’ll get her in trouble one day.

    (Seriously, it’s a job at a toy store. Jacob is perfectly capable of moving on.)

  45. Bean
    Bean
    October 16, 2010 at 11:30 am | # | Reply

    Is it wrong that I’m liking Amber more and more as she discards the large part of her insecure moral posturing?

    I used to dislike her intensely, but I’m seriously warming up to her. Mike may or may not be converting her to the dark side (I hope he is) but the more comfortable she is in her own skin, and the less quick she is to berate other people for their own failings the more I appreciate her place in the strip.

    • Michael
      Michael
      October 16, 2010 at 12:54 pm | # | Reply

      Heh, no. Amber is being an incredible choad, and she doesn’t have any justification for it whatsoever. Jacob is a no-call, no-show for a week. That means he’s fired, period. She’s just using her inappropriate guiltiness surrounding Jacob as an excuse to sadistically torment Faz.
      I hope Mike dumps her dishonest ass.

      • turkishproverb
        turkishproverb
        October 16, 2010 at 5:04 pm | # | Reply

        He fell back off the wagon. That could be argued as a medical reason.

        • Michael
          Michael
          October 17, 2010 at 2:04 pm | # | Reply

          So the store is obligated to hire an alcoholic? Don’t be silly; “not showing up” isn’t a Reasonable Accomodation.

          Also, it’s still a crappy retail job. No, Amber is totally without justification here, and it’s awesome.

  46. DCHorror
    DCHorror
    October 16, 2010 at 12:45 pm | # | Reply

    This is probably the first good thing Amber has heard out of Faz might be her half brother.

  47. Chad from Canada
    Chad from Canada
    October 17, 2010 at 2:54 am | # | Reply

    I think Mike actually, genuinely, loves Amber. Given an out, I don’t think he would take the opportunity. He likes the fact that he has had an influence on/corrupted Amber, and she likes the confidence it has given her. It’s like a parasitic relationship, where they sap things they want off of each other.
    Well, I think he loves her, but I’m not sure he knows it. And I think if he knew it, he might end the relationship. Not to hurt her, but because he honestly believes he doesn’t have the right to be happy.
    In any case… I love Mike. He’s awesome. And I wouldn’t change anything about him. He makes things interesting, he intrigues me… And you never quite know his real motivation… He plans so far ahead that I doubt we would ever be able to find it out either… Does Willis even know if there’s a happy ending for Mike?

    • Shift
      Shift
      October 17, 2010 at 6:16 am | # | Reply

      Oh there’s no question that he actually love her. And I’m pretty sure he knows it. After all, he admitted it to her. And the fact he loves Amber is the only reason he hasn’t found a way out of the relationship yet. It’s Mike after all. If he wants something done, he’ll do it.

      But still given the chance, he’ll still throw her under the bus if the opportunity rose up, solely because of the fact he would find it amuse. Mike is the ultimate asshole after all.

      And Amber knows that. She expects him to screw with her head and try be a jerk and evil. And she’s able to take whatever he dishes out and at times even throw it right back at him.

      That’s what makes this relationship so weird. Its not remotely healthy in any way, but it works for them, because both of them accept the other as who they are.

      God, these two would make for the most bizarre Lifetime Movie EVER.

      Oh and Mike ALWAYS gets the happy ending. Whether its the kind of Happy Ending we’re thinking of however is probably something else entirely.

  48. Rodrigo
    Rodrigo
    October 17, 2010 at 10:19 am | # | Reply

    Mike was useful? I mean, yes, his suggestion screws up Faz, but Mike’s “help” tend to screw the person he is “helping” as well. See what he did to Ethan when he asked help to get hid of Faz back then.

  49. Anime fan
    Anime fan
    October 17, 2010 at 7:31 pm | # | Reply

    Started reading a while ago, just got done with the archive. Really awesome.

  50. Richie9999
    Richie9999
    October 18, 2010 at 9:44 am | # | Reply

    Amber would forget/repress the memory of her discovery that Faz is her half brother.

  51. Brady Kj
    Brady Kj
    October 24, 2010 at 3:53 pm | # | Reply

    This will obviously screw Amber. If Galasso becomes concerned about demographics to the point of counting half people, he will fire Jacob and replace him with somebody who’s half black. If that somebody is also half-Asian, then Faz can stay. It appears KiZer was thinking the same thing I’m thinking, and is therefore a genius. Also, I suspect Mike knows a half-black-half-Asian who’s a real jerk, and is looking for work.

  52. SuperNormalMan
    SuperNormalMan
    February 15, 2012 at 5:18 pm | # | Reply

    Oh, Mike, you dastardly dastard, you.

  53. Steven
    Steven
    April 10, 2012 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

    Now my screen is all wet from me trying to kiss Mike.

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