Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
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nipple
optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
sdcc
sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
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. . . well, that’s disturbing on a number of levels.
Oh Jesus, poor Amber.
Welp, I’m having nightmares tonight…………..
Liquor? More like brain-bleach.
Possibly just regular bleach!
CANNOT UNSEE
So… was this your plan all along? If so, why?!?!?
It is the reason Faz’s hair highlights brown instead of dark gray like Robin and Ethan.
You magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK!
You’ve only been doing that since mid-2009.
Man, it feels like I’ve been doing it longer than that.
More impressive marker, I guess: http://www.shortpacked.com/blog/comic/book-5/06-flashbacked/mafia/
Since at least then.
Wow, years in the making, waiting, waiting to hit us straight in the face.
This realization is quite fun. I hope it doesn’t break Amber much.
I like her.
I <3 you, Willis!
This is awesome on many levels
search your feelings, Amber, you know it to be true
that’s right
somehow…you always knew
Your Half-Brother, Faz
Four Words.
Shall we?
We’re doing this again?
Just like old times!
Thought everyone hated it.
But they played anyway.
Of course they did.
It’s a fun game.
A challenge, in fact.
Getting thoughts across thusly?
Limited by word count?
A test of vocabulary.
Four words haiku here.
Shining beacon of triumph.
You have been bested.
You win twenty internets.
Related to Faz?
Drown your sorrows in alcohol.
Dear Cheese, kill me now.
Interesting. This a retcon or something you always had planned, Willis?
..XDelicious.
In a flashback we must meet Amber’s grandpa and determine what he smells like.
My guess is Skin Bracer.
Well, Faz smells like Sarah Palin’s ass…
Willis is big on the surprise sibling thing, isn’t he? Or are you just making fun of your own creation? Either way, veerrrry interesting.
Additionally:
Faz: I named the mop “Amber”. At night I straddle it.
http://www.shortpacked.com/blog/comic/book-9/07-hello-roz-goodbye-reagan/contacthigh/
Yeah, this makes Faz hitting on Amber triply creepy.
Of course, Faz might have reasons for his confusion other than JUST the fact he’s creepy, as some research shows.
Together, we will join as one, near the crotch., perhaps more than once per day.
http://www.shortpacked.com/blog/comic/book-8/05-the-day-that-shortpacked-fell/abscond/
Go now to your eternal love, Amber…
Oh dear Baal, looking through Faz’s past dialogue is amazing and hilariously disturbing at the same time now.
Need Mike’s Stash, NOW!
Well, as the last panel obviously shows, the realization has killed both women and they have merged with The Cheese!*
“What a tweest!”
;p
* yeah, yeah, it would be black and white instead of false color. Zip it!
Oh dear sweet lord no
Dammit, she *earned* that laptop.
What? WHAT?!?
Oh my God. I think I just died a little on the inside. My eye literally twitched when I read the last two panels.
Wait a second. Did anyone else notice the robot/dinosaur battle going on outside? Was everyone too stunned to look?
I’m sad it took folks this long to mention the backdrop. (It was in yesterday’s, too.)
hehehe, The background was the second thing I noticed.
I figured McAwesomes just had a really terrific wall deco.
Of course, the idea that a giant robot/dinosaur battle could be going on outside and noone thinks it’s worth mentioning is an awesome commentary on the nature of the Walkyverse.
Ex-CUSE me? I mentioned it yesterday! Though I did assume that it was inside McAwesome’s (and thus probably in miniature) due to mistaking the pipe-things next to the robot for the jungle-gym slide thing that McAwesome has been seen to have in it. (I assumed that they were sitting in front of a glass partition wall.)
Aaaaaand the payoff!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA! LIQUOR CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW! NOT EVEN DEATH CAN SAV YOU NOW!
Really, everything is as it should be.
Frightening. Nauseating. Brilliant on an unparalleled scale of perversion.
I would like the background of this strip to be the image on my bedroom walls. Thx.
…somehow, this is more disturbing than most “secret sibling” plots where they DID sleep together before they found out…
It’s Faz.
Four words:
I told you so.
Also I reiterate my assertion that [i]everyone[/i] who looks Asian in the Walkyverse is related to Amber. Meredith, Dina, any others?
(Even if Dina’s surname WAS Japanese)
Her world is broken.
Wait. Which parent dot they share? Because if the question has been not “what” did Amber’s Dad do to get the Korean mafia mad at him but “who,” that’s going to be a lot funnier.
I thought it was Korean mafia daughters?
And when questioned on the topic Faz will say he’s known since the beginning, at which point all our heads will explode as out brains try to blow their brains out and just blow themselves out.
Yeah….my four words would be OMFG…or maybe “GAH! BRAIN BLEACH NOW!!!”
Lady, there ain’t enough liquor in the world…
I’m trying to remember when Amber scammed Faz and what the extent of that scam entailed…
To be fair though, Amber didn’t have a similar design to Faz originally. The hair and head shape didn’t come into play until after Amber’s new look… (Forgive me, but I’m trying to find excuses to not accept this horrifying turn of a event.)
LOL — I cant wait to see the impact this has on everyone else, least of which is Faz himself.
knowing Faz… he’ll ignore this fact and continue to sexually proposition Amber. He lives in his own little world after all.
Knowing Faz, this is the Main Reason he’s been after Amber.
“So as much of the Faz as is Genetically Possible, is kept within the gene pool…”
Honestly, Faz is creepy enough that this doesn’t really make it all that much worse.
The mother’s line, “That is very good,” is one of my favorite Shortpacked lines ever.
If I ever learned anything ’bout Faz, he’d be even more turned on knowing Amber’s his half-sis. So I guess the priority’s -not lettin’ him know!!… if he doesn’t already >_>
Poor Amber.
Go Willis, luv your comic! ^__^
Is colour reversal a common trope? Or did you actually manage to guess my other fandom? (And if you did, why haven’t you mocked it?)
PS: Is Joyce&Walky updating anymore? I tried mailing you, but no reply.
>Faz finds out that he is related to amber
>stops coming on to amber
>stops being creepy around amber
Pull the other one.
Faz is physically incapable of not being creepy.
Um, wow! This is me picking my jaw back up off the ground…great twist Willis.
Well Amber would be in good company:
Morgan Le Fey, most pharoahs, and those twins from Super Friends.
Wow . . . the two characters I hate most are related . . . I know I’m supposed to be surprised, but all I can think is that it makes perfect sense. And that Faz will continue hitting on Amber even when/if he finds out.
Amber:”Faz, I really think you should stop asking me to have sex with you, I think we’re closely related!”
T.Faz:”The Faz has always known this. Indeed, it is the main reason for The Faz selecting you for his reproduction scheme, so the gene-pool has much Faz as is genetically possible.”
Amber: “Oh God!” *runs off screaming*
Mike: “Look, Faz, I am really going to have to kill you now, no hard feelings, OK?”
T.Faz: “The Faz always has Hard Feelings for his wonderful Amber…”
Mike: “Alright, after that last remark, I’m no longer drunk. You will lie only to regret this for five minutes however.”
T.Faz: “I regret nothing, but my eternal loneliness… When will The Faz find love?”
Mike: “I’m sober now remember, I do not care.” *Mike beats up Faz until he is in agony not even “the Faz” can bare, and then finishes him 30 minutes after this. (he lied earlier)*
Does Sober Mike ever explain himself?
Yes, if explaining will extract that last little bit of suffering from the target. There’s no point doing something gratuitously horrible to someone if they don’t realize just how horrible it really is, you know…
DUN DUN DAHHHHH!
Wait a second.
“Faz is of korean descent.”
FFFFUUUUUUU–
Okay, so an earlier commentor’s prediction about Faz came true. I sure as heck hope mine doesn’t.
(Hint: I predicted Faz would sleep with Amber’s mum).
O. Lee.
O’Malley.
O-Ma-LEE.
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. I can’t stop thinking about this flfjda
I mean that in the best way possible fffuuu
Oh, gawd, no.
Need brain bleach.
(Doesn’t get it, so imagines what would have happened if Faz was eavesdropping.)
YES.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Any else think faz is just going to say that he knew the whole time?
This is how Faz will know as Faz reads the comic as well. This also explains why Amber can be so perfect a beauty, as only such can be achieved by being related to Faz. Do not worry, fans of Faz and readers of Faz, as Faz shall only pursue his Venus with more vigor in this revelation. It is destiny that two perfections of Faz shall join to be one.
Hmm, looking at that old comic, I guess it’s more like Amber has come to resemble Faz more over time… Maybe they’ve both been shaped by the same environmental forces.. parallel Fazification, if you will.
DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!
DAMMIT WILLIS
I should have seen this coming!
ZA WARUDO.
Faz?
It’s all in Amber’s head anyway. The only reason her hair parts that way is because she chose to part it that way. At the start of the strip, her hair parted down the middle, and it certainly didn’t bob like that. That stuff didn’t come by till she decided to get a makeover.
If anything… she deliberately decided to start looking more like Faz.
Also, Willis, are you aware your Archive links no longer work?
Okay, so I just noticed the subtle IW! reference in the title, and I agree that this is reveal is of comparable earth-shattering scale.
(For those who haven’t read IW!, Head Alien surprised Walky with the knowledge that Sal was his twin sister by saying, “Okay, four words….”)
YES! So glad someone else caught that.
“Your half brother, Faz.”
And here I just thought she was going to be related to her old Internet boyfriend!
Moments like these are the reason Brain Bleach needs to be invented.
Just wondering if Faz still has conection to the mafia or his mother got destituted… just wondering…
oh willis you bastard
Oh My God the look on Ambers face is friggin priceless!
He comes?
Amber’s face in the last panel. XD Her mom sees what’s about to happen… and she successfully broke her daughter’s brain in two sentences.
Ohmy.
Just have to add here that the fact that this was spoiled for me by some of the comments from very early on (around the time Faz is introduced — so, in sort of a time-travelling way, I knew it was coming before Wllis did), that took NOTHING away from the impact of this strip. I literally had to wipe my tears of laughter away with a tissue.
Masterpiece.