Hmmm… all the Chuck Norris abilities finally make sense. The gods decreed that there must be a real life equivalent of Batman. And thus, Chuck Norris was born.
Actually, there’s a new phenom in the world of who beats who, and Dr. Tommy Oliver would beat them all hands down. You don’t see Batman, Superman or Chuck Norris doing a spin kick on a GIGANTIC! To scale, Robotic T-Rex and simply outrun it in a convertable, with the door locked ,
As long as you don’t bother with that recycling nonesense, taking out the garbage is a fast and painless task. My guess is that Lois is into that pretentious recycling fad, which would turn the task of “taking out the garbage” into a (unnecessarily) tedious and (unnecessarily) lengthy chore–much like a calculus exam.
Frankly, manipulating time and space is a breeze next to sorting out the vaguaries of recycling rules.
Yes. And since recyclers are a cowardly and fanatical lot, inspired by a crow going through my dumpster, I donned a costume of pizza boxes and six-pack holders, and became Garbage Man, and devoted my life to inciting grime. I studied every form of pollution arts and spent my fortune (in Snapple caps) to develop the latest in grime-inciting technology. With my bottlerangs and bag-grapple, I strike terror and disgust into the hearts of those who would recycle, and see all their works rent asunder to feed the birds and bury in landfills.
Being a rational being, I decided to not simply believe that recycling was necessary and followed the trail. It turns out that all that carefully separated glass, cardboard, aluminium, etc. goes from your colorful (and not recycled themselves) containers to the recycling center where it is picked up by a standard garbage truck, mashed together , and deposited in the landfill. When promted for an expanation, the driver informed me that actually recycling is too expensive and dumping it all in the landfill was standard practice.
Recycling is busywork. It puts a band-aid on your conscience so you can get into your gasoline vehicles and purchase more recycleables. It serves no other purpose than to provide the illusion that you are actively helping our environment.
I don’t do meaningless busywork. My conscience needs more.
[nelson]HA Ha, your garbage service sucks.[/nelson]
Mine actually *does* recycle, and does all its own separation at the collection plant, because it’s far more efficient than collecting the different bins from each house.
Indeed. If she takes it out just because she’s bothered to pick it up when he’s ignored it then she’ll never not be taking it out. Kinda the female duty equivelant to his flying round the world backwards to make it happen.
Yes, thank god he dragged that one out. I never tire of hearing fanboys giggle to themselves over the idea of telling their imaginary girlfriend who’s boss via memes older than my granddad.
Superman was kind of a dick back in the days of being exclusively Action Comics. No regard for the frailty of the human structure whence battling ye olde gangsters.
I always thought the movie made Superman too powerful by letting turn back time. On top of being stronger, faster, and more powerful than his enemies, he is completely indestructible. Now if he loses by some chance he can go back in time and try again. At some point he has to get bored with the whole thing. I also hated his throwing his shield that turned into a huge blanket wrapping up his opponent.
This is completely hilarious.. it’s not enough to go do it NOW, which would be effortless for him, he has to do it YESTERDAY and be proven right..
And the fact that they look so perfectly like the movie versions too, I mean.. you get a sticker for this. A foil sticker.
The thing is, see, Superman has smart, competent, strong 1970s-on Lois.
Plutonian had dingbat, capture-prone, written-for-eight-year-olds 1950s-1960s Lois. So did Samaritan, come to think of it. And I’ll bet there’s an analogue in Alan Moore’s version of Supreme, too (really gotta read that one of these days–the TP has been on the shelf for about five years now).
There was a LOT of dick behavior going on in the Super-titles back in the day. “Oh, Superman! I love you, marry me! By the way, I still want to prove you’re Clark Kent and expose you to the world!”
“Heh-heh, silly Lois! Here, take this necklace I got you on a mission in space! Whoops, turned you into a baby! Now I’m going to have all your friends babysit you and change your diapers until the effect wears off!” (Days pass.) “*Choke* (always, “Choke”) He’s not even trying to find a cure! I’ll be stuck as a baby for years! All my friends will grow old and I’ll be–” *PAF!* (Suddenly, Lois is an adult again, tangled in a baby carriage with a diaper on and a pacifier in her mouth. This is in the middle of a crowded street, and of course her good friend and colleague Jimmy Olsen just happens to be there with camera handy to take pictures of her trying desperately to cover up while passersby point and laugh. Superman watches all this from above, smirking to himself.) “I knew the necklace’s effects would only last a few days! Maybe this will teach Lois a valuable lesson about something or other!” (Later, everyone back at the Daily Planet is having a good laugh about their star reporter’s public humiliation–which is on the front page, of course–and Clark just has to get in a dig. Lois sputters and flings the paper at him.) “Clark Kent, you–OOOHH!! Superman would NEVER laugh at this!” (She storms off as Clark winks at the camera.)
Supreme’s alter-ego works at a comics company, where he and the Lois analogue are writers on the Supreme analogue book. They get together to discuss whether the Supreme analogue should get married to his Lois Lane analogue analogue girlfriend, while Supreme’s alter-ego flirts with his Lois analogue co-worker. That Alan Moore, he sure is meta.
.
.
.
Also, it’s drawn by Rob Liefeld.
Superdickery at it’s finest. But lets me honest, post-80′s Lois would never be that dimwitted. She’d look at the now empty trashcan and go:”Goddamn Smallville! What have I said about screwing with time and space to win arguements with me! Do I have to call Bruce in on this again?”
To which Clark will go “Um… no ma’am.”
“Good. Now go make me a sandwich.” And then he does.
This reminds me of one of my university lecturers who published a book of poetry….one of the poems was about Loi Lane and Superman dealing with erectile dysfunction….another one was about Thomas the Tank Engine going through puberty….I really didnt want to be reminded of those
I don’t know if I can trust Superman after reading Irredeemable…
Yes, but Superman had Lois Lane, who didn’t immediately betray him. The Plutonian had some crazy bitch who decided to blab instantly.
Also, Batman would stop Superman in five seconds.
Hmm, but who would stop Batman!
Batman would stop himself. He’s just THAT good.
I always thought Batman trained Robin to stop him… Not that he could, but still… (pointless comment is pointless)
Actually… That HAS happened…
Yeah, Robin took down Batman once in one of the cartoons
It was the oddest thing ever…
So, chuck norris was created in the image of batman?
Hmmm… all the Chuck Norris abilities finally make sense. The gods decreed that there must be a real life equivalent of Batman. And thus, Chuck Norris was born.
Actually, there’s a new phenom in the world of who beats who, and Dr. Tommy Oliver would beat them all hands down. You don’t see Batman, Superman or Chuck Norris doing a spin kick on a GIGANTIC! To scale, Robotic T-Rex and simply outrun it in a convertable, with the door locked
,
-Power Rangers Dino-Thunder: “Day of the Dino”
Alfred would. D’uh!
Chuck ?!
Morgan Freeman.
Oh Superman. Breaking the laws of time, space, nature, and physics as always.
Breaking the laws of relationships, too.
I dunno. If you can fly so fast you break the speed of light and go back in time, I think you deserve a sandwich.
HA. That’s right, back in the kitchen, Lois.
…
No, I don’t hate Lois Lane, what are you talking about?
… wouldn’t taking out the trash take less time for Supes than going back in ti-
wait
My head hurts.
It’s not about the effort involved, it’s about being right, which just ironically stems from an attempt to be lazy.
As long as you don’t bother with that recycling nonesense, taking out the garbage is a fast and painless task. My guess is that Lois is into that pretentious recycling fad, which would turn the task of “taking out the garbage” into a (unnecessarily) tedious and (unnecessarily) lengthy chore–much like a calculus exam.
Frankly, manipulating time and space is a breeze next to sorting out the vaguaries of recycling rules.
If recycling takes effort and brainpower for you, you’re doing it wrong.
Amen, brother.
Did recycling kill your parents, or something?
Yes. And since recyclers are a cowardly and fanatical lot, inspired by a crow going through my dumpster, I donned a costume of pizza boxes and six-pack holders, and became Garbage Man, and devoted my life to inciting grime. I studied every form of pollution arts and spent my fortune (in Snapple caps) to develop the latest in grime-inciting technology. With my bottlerangs and bag-grapple, I strike terror and disgust into the hearts of those who would recycle, and see all their works rent asunder to feed the birds and bury in landfills.
Being a rational being, I decided to not simply believe that recycling was necessary and followed the trail. It turns out that all that carefully separated glass, cardboard, aluminium, etc. goes from your colorful (and not recycled themselves) containers to the recycling center where it is picked up by a standard garbage truck, mashed together , and deposited in the landfill. When promted for an expanation, the driver informed me that actually recycling is too expensive and dumping it all in the landfill was standard practice.
Recycling is busywork. It puts a band-aid on your conscience so you can get into your gasoline vehicles and purchase more recycleables. It serves no other purpose than to provide the illusion that you are actively helping our environment.
I don’t do meaningless busywork. My conscience needs more.
Haha 3/10, nice try.
THANK you for not being a retard. Recycling is pointless.
[nelson]HA Ha, your garbage service sucks.[/nelson]
Mine actually *does* recycle, and does all its own separation at the collection plant, because it’s far more efficient than collecting the different bins from each house.
In what backwater village do you live?
And you probably belive that Obaham is a Communist too…
I’m confused…do you sort the trash out as your taking it out
Most of us (I think) just put it into either bag A or bag B (or whatever) as we go.
But whatever they offer you
Though they’re slopping the trough for you
Please, whatever they offer you
Don’t feed the trolls!
“pretentious recycling fad”
Ha ha, what.
Wally West once bet a God he could travel from point A to point B FASTER than instantaneously… and won.
(I’m just saying… Barry Allen sucks.)
This is the best and most manly comic you’ve ever drawn, Willis.
Bravo, old chap.
Um… where’s Clark’s mouth in this one?
He has Super-thin lips.
If it’s right there in her hands, why doesn’t she just take it out?
Do me a personal favor and try that out on a female you live with, and then respond back with the results. If you survive.
Indeed. If she takes it out just because she’s bothered to pick it up when he’s ignored it then she’ll never not be taking it out. Kinda the female duty equivelant to his flying round the world backwards to make it happen.
YAY SAMMICH
Yes, thank god he dragged that one out. I never tire of hearing fanboys giggle to themselves over the idea of telling their imaginary girlfriend who’s boss via memes older than my granddad.
…what? Seriously, I have no idea what you just said.
I think Vic is imputing that fanboys don’t know how real women behave.
Note, there are a LOT of “Superman is a Dick” sites on the web. Here’s one:
http://superdickery.com/
Welcome to 2005!
Clark looks creepily like an old friend of mine.. Especially in the second panel.
Superman was kind of a dick back in the days of being exclusively Action Comics. No regard for the frailty of the human structure whence battling ye olde gangsters.
I always thought the movie made Superman too powerful by letting turn back time. On top of being stronger, faster, and more powerful than his enemies, he is completely indestructible. Now if he loses by some chance he can go back in time and try again. At some point he has to get bored with the whole thing. I also hated his throwing his shield that turned into a huge blanket wrapping up his opponent.
undelete permanently deleted files
This is completely hilarious.. it’s not enough to go do it NOW, which would be effortless for him, he has to do it YESTERDAY and be proven right..
And the fact that they look so perfectly like the movie versions too, I mean.. you get a sticker for this. A foil sticker.
The lack of a mouth is freaking me out.
He has a mouth. The straw is in it.
The thing is, see, Superman has smart, competent, strong 1970s-on Lois.
Plutonian had dingbat, capture-prone, written-for-eight-year-olds 1950s-1960s Lois. So did Samaritan, come to think of it. And I’ll bet there’s an analogue in Alan Moore’s version of Supreme, too (really gotta read that one of these days–the TP has been on the shelf for about five years now).
There was a LOT of dick behavior going on in the Super-titles back in the day. “Oh, Superman! I love you, marry me! By the way, I still want to prove you’re Clark Kent and expose you to the world!”
“Heh-heh, silly Lois! Here, take this necklace I got you on a mission in space! Whoops, turned you into a baby! Now I’m going to have all your friends babysit you and change your diapers until the effect wears off!” (Days pass.) “*Choke* (always, “Choke”) He’s not even trying to find a cure! I’ll be stuck as a baby for years! All my friends will grow old and I’ll be–” *PAF!* (Suddenly, Lois is an adult again, tangled in a baby carriage with a diaper on and a pacifier in her mouth. This is in the middle of a crowded street, and of course her good friend and colleague Jimmy Olsen just happens to be there with camera handy to take pictures of her trying desperately to cover up while passersby point and laugh. Superman watches all this from above, smirking to himself.) “I knew the necklace’s effects would only last a few days! Maybe this will teach Lois a valuable lesson about something or other!” (Later, everyone back at the Daily Planet is having a good laugh about their star reporter’s public humiliation–which is on the front page, of course–and Clark just has to get in a dig. Lois sputters and flings the paper at him.) “Clark Kent, you–OOOHH!! Superman would NEVER laugh at this!” (She storms off as Clark winks at the camera.)
That’s because Superman is a dick.
Supreme’s alter-ego works at a comics company, where he and the Lois analogue are writers on the Supreme analogue book. They get together to discuss whether the Supreme analogue should get married to his Lois Lane analogue analogue girlfriend, while Supreme’s alter-ego flirts with his Lois analogue co-worker. That Alan Moore, he sure is meta.
.
.
.
Also, it’s drawn by Rob Liefeld.
Also, has anyone else noticed how Superman here kinda looks like Cartoon Willis? COINCIDENCE?!! XD
Superdickery at it’s finest. But lets me honest, post-80′s Lois would never be that dimwitted. She’d look at the now empty trashcan and go:”Goddamn Smallville! What have I said about screwing with time and space to win arguements with me! Do I have to call Bruce in on this again?”
To which Clark will go “Um… no ma’am.”
“Good. Now go make me a sandwich.” And then he does.
man, I want a sammich
This reminds me of one of my university lecturers who published a book of poetry….one of the poems was about Loi Lane and Superman dealing with erectile dysfunction….another one was about Thomas the Tank Engine going through puberty….I really didnt want to be reminded of those
What. The. FUCK.