Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
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Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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Actually, it sez he’s supposed to be a conquerer. Of the Middle East.
You know, like Bush OH MY GOD WAIT -
meh, Bush was too much of a failure to be the anti-Christ
end times bullshit ftw!
The Bible actually states that anyone who does not believe in Jesus is an Anti-Christ. Basically all Jews, Atheists, anybody else who disagrees with the bible.
I’m a Were-anti-Christ!
It… so many ways doesn’t say that. All those who hate their brother and preach false peace are the antichrists. (plural, non-proper noun)
I believe “anti-christ” simply means not for christ, or not doing what he taught, not like some evil demon like most people seem to think. Just my two cents!
The Antichrist will be a normal, pretty likable dude. Not a literal demon at first, though that comes later. Anti- here means opposite, not just opposing.
Or, ya know, a literal person at all…
And he’ll have a Satanic dog.
And be raised by a normal family. Switched at birth.
Suddenly I want to read Good Omens again…
Always figured the Anti-Christ would be a beardless Jesus… And what do we need an Anti-Christ for, anyway – we screw up enough on our own. A good half of the Bible is proof of this…
Isn’t the Antichrist Jesus with a goatee and an evil moustache.
I’m afraid I have to stop you there. A “good half of the bible” cannot possibly be “proof of this”. Because the bible is “proof” of bugger all. The bible is an unauthenticated record of supernatural events that defy reason and common sense. Even if god really exists (which he does not), and even if the bible is unadulterated truth (which it isn’t), there is a difference between truth and facts/proof.
Okay, not to be a pain, but I must say this. So you don’t believe the Bible, I can respect that. I won’t call you an idiot or rage about how evolution is impossible or false, in spite of my personal beliefs because I don’t believe disagreeing with me makes you stupid. However, I will ask that you please do not state your opinion as fact in the comments section of a source of entertainment for many people. If you want a forum for denouncing the Bible, start a blog, please. Maybe you didn’t mean to be rude, but how you stated it came across to me as implying you would have to be an idiot to believe it. Now I don’t want you to apologize to me or anything, because I don’t think that you stating your opinion should mean you need to apologize to anyone. Instead, please just be careful of how your comments sound in the future, please. To everyone else, sorry to waste your time with my, hopefully polite, request. If this comment bothers you, let me know, and I will see if I can remove it. Have a good whenever you read this.
*applauds*
*seconds that applause*
I appreciate that. I’ve been archive binging (just found the comic) and I’ve been reading the comics, and I was rather annoyed that somebody was bringing up religion and mocking HERE, of all places, on a webcomic comments section. I applaud the comment here.
I think it might be a good idea to stop and actually think about what the Bible says, not about “supernatural” events or even history, so much as what it says about what that commenter was referring to – human nature.
As a piece of historically popular literature at least, it certainly shows nobody had any illusions even then, about humans being in any way perfect.
Now, depending on what part you’re talking about…
1.) A good chunk of the Old Testament (aka Torah), such as Leviticus, is just rules for the Hebrews to follow; these are laws and regulations of a particular ancient culture. They don’t disprove the idea that humans are flawed, because if we weren’t seen as flawed, they wouldn’t felt the need to regulate their behavior. (Note: not that I agree with all the things they saw as “flaws”; a lot of the regulations allow for some pretty nasty things such as slavery, are way harsher on women – including rape victims – than men, and punish things like “being disobedient of your parents” with stoning. Nonetheless, they saw “flaws” and arguably even looking at them with a modern eye picks up some horrors in the laws themselves that reveal flaws about the lawmakers; ergo, does not disprove “humans are flawed”).
2.) Look at their vision, in the early chapters of Genesis, of what the human race is and how it has become what it is today: their idea of a paradise is one where you can be lazy and chill all day without fear of starving or having pain, and in the very earliest chapters, humans screw it up by doing literally the one thing they were told not to do. Then! Then, the very secondmost generation of humans commits fratricide… over jealousy. Over jealousy at Sky Daddy preferring one gift over the other. Humans aren’t flawed? Really? Seems to me the whole point of Genesis is “See, this is why we can’t have nice things. Because we’re stupid assholes.”
3.) Other parts of the Old Testament feature such lovely things as corpse desecration (that whole bit about the Philistine foreskins as a wedding gift), bitches lying to try and steal another woman’s baby, genocide, religious warfare, and sexual depravity up to and including pretending to be your someone else’s husband to hook up with them (somewhere in the story of Jacob, I believe), pretending to be a whore to seduce your own husband, and sleeping with your own father after getting him drunk to the point of non-consent (Lot’s daughters). In fact, that last one happens because an entire pair of cities is seen as completely wicked – and shown to be pretty bad as well, seeing as they threaten to rape an angel on the premise that (per ancient belief systems) they might gain part of its supernatural powers. If the two cities hadn’t been supposedly so awful, they wouldn’t have been destroyed, and Lot’s wife wouldn’t have been turned (allegedly) into a pillar of salt, and his dumbass daughters wouldn’t have thought that he’d need to boink them in order to propagate his line. (Yeah, that part is… pretty WTF, really.) Again: whether you are looking at this with the eyes of the ancient people who passed it down the generations, or with modern eyes, it’s not painting a very pretty picture of humanity.
4.) The story of Job, people. Sure, God’s a dick in that story, but so are all the people who look down on and avoid Job because he’s unlucky. Everyone who isn’t Job, humans included, is an asshole in that story. The point of the story is to find a way to justify or explain away how bad things can happen to good people, but in the process they point out that when bad things happen to good people, people assume they somehow deserve it (as opposed to themselves of course, who have NEVER done anything to deserve misfortune, surely) and are petty, selfish assholes around them. Gee, wonder how this could possibly be relevant to today?
5.) Even if we skip on ahead to the New Testament, a majority of the parables attributed to Jesus involve human stupidity, selfishness, and asshattery. The parable of the Talents for instance, is thought by scholars to be about how even if you do the right thing (keeping his master’s money safely buried to be able to return it to him, rather than lending it out at usurious rates, what with usury being forbidden in Hebrew law), you will often be punished unfairly in this life (weirdly this story is commonly misunderstood by conservatives nowadays, who think it is actually about how you should be smart and invest because you will make more money that way. It really wasn’t supposed to mean that).
Other tales of his alleged exploits include overturning the tables of the moneylenders in the temples (because they were corrupting the system), preventing people from stoning an adulteress (because it’s hypocritical to judge someone else so heavily for a sin when you yourself are sinful by nature of Being Human), healing sick people that nobody else was kind or brave enough to go near, accepting prostitutes and beggars as real people (wouldn’t have been in there if people were generally accepting of such people, as it wouldn’t have been a sign of how remarkable he supposedly was), and, oh yes, allowing himself to be brutally tortured and publicly executed for purely political reasons. Yes, humans are such delightful creatures, that Jesus was supposed to be the exception.
In fact, it might do you some good to realize that the Bible in fact tends to OVERLY criticize humans – for such things as curiosity (forbidden fruit), religious tolerance (“Thou shalt not have any other Gods before me”/ethnic cleansing that is seen as okay because it’s against people other religions/destruction of others’ religious symbols such as Asherah poles), for menstruating, for daring to think a woman is equal to a man, and for daring to have sexual impulses.
And if looked at with modern eyes, the fact that so many people did and in surprisingly many cases still do find such a text to be an example of how to live “right”, is itself also proof that humans are far from saintly.
Really, as a piece of literature, it’s quite revealing about the people who wrote it down and edited it (I say “and edited” because there’s evidence of AT LEAST three quite different texts that were mixed and matched to form the Torah/Old Testament, and the version that comes down to us now is pretty much defined by what was decided on at the Council of Nicea about 1700 years ago, which from what I understand, excluded versions that indicated Jesus may have just been a normal but righteous human, and texts that indicated that Hell would only be proportionate punishment to your sins rather than permanent, both of which are pretty drastic differences obviously from the final text. But I digress).
It’s actually a pretty damn cynical text when you get down to it. I can sum it up with “Humans are stupid bastards most of the time.”
If it helps, read “proof” as “it’s canon”.
We should form an Antichrist club. =D
Our theme song can be “Anarchy in the UK.”
I like how it says that Rhode Island was bought for her. Congressional representatives don’t need states bought for them. She probably took money from everyone, so to bribe her they had to buy SOMETHING.
Y’know, buddy, with that white jacket you look a lot like a scientist to me. Maybe we could just save some time and effort by blowing you up.
I hate both of my brothers and preach that if their disposed of there’ll be peace.
And on April 30, 2011, Osama bin Laden was killed.
actually, if you study it in the original Greek, the Anti-Christ refered to in Revelations is given as a title to a specific person, due to the definitive article, as opposed to other uses where it just means one who is opposed to the Gospel.
I could swear it says there will be more than one though.
Not saying there won’t be a definite article in the Greek, just saying, I could swear it was plural.
Also, it’s Revelation, not Revelations. Fun fact: apocalypse MEANS “revelation”, or at least it originally did. It’s kind of shifted meaning over the centuries.
oops, I meant definite article, not definitive.
others have said it, but here goes one more time- according to the bible, anyone who doesn’t believe in Jesus is the anti-christ. In other words, any non-christian.
Actually the Antichrist is basically Jesus but made up of spiritual anti-particles. During the second coming, if Jesus and the Antichrist ever touch, they will both be converted to energy in an annihilation event that will destroy the planet
I wish I could “Like” or upvote this comment so much right now.
The best part is possibly the fact that it’s no more bizarre than the rest of Revelation. Seriously, I defy anyone to read that and not think the writer was either high on something, or having way, way too much fun being creatively obtuse. It’s like it was purposefully designed to be impenetrably “symbolic”.
I seriously hope that guy got run over by a fire truck as soon as he left the building.
Woot! I’m from Rhode Island. Everything feels new now that i’m owned by Robin.
The Bible doesn’t actually say anything about one supervillain Antichrist rising up at the end times. Whenever the word “antichrist” appears, it’s used to mean “people who are against Christ, in general.” The closest thing to what people have been calling the Antichrist for the past hundred years or so is the Beast from the book of Revelation, which isn’t a politician or even a human, but a literal monster from Hell.
People seem to get all their information about the Bible from other people, and even works of fiction, instead of just looking that shit up themselves. I mean, the Bible is fucking EVERYWHERE. It is not hard to find. There are even searchable online versions. Look shit up before making half-remembered stuff the core tenets of your philosophy.