Shortpacked! by David Willis

by David Willis on September 24, 2007 at 12:00 am

02 - Flashbacked!

└ Tags: batman, ethan, wolverine

Discussion (50) ¬

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Jorn

April 18, 2010 at 6:55 am | # | Reply

Batman. Obviously. Wolverine’s a punk.
- Noble Bear
  
  May 7, 2010 at 5:04 am | # | Reply
  
  This.
- Yddisac
  
  August 19, 2011 at 12:06 am | # | Reply
  
  Punk is nothing but DEATH and CRIME and the RAGE of a BEAST
  
  …like, say, a Wolverine.
- Twigs
  
  November 4, 2011 at 12:27 am | # | Reply
  
  As a girl who knows nothing about the plot of either story, I would pick Wolverine, because he was played by Hugh Jackman in one of the films. You cannot deny that he is a hot piece of ass.
  
  I think I just killed a fanboy. Like when you say you don’t believe in faeries and one of them dies.
  - Aesurru
    
    November 9, 2011 at 11:37 pm | # | Reply
    
    Its alright if a couple fanboys die, after all, Hugh Jackman IS a hot piece of ass.
    - Hanover Fist
      
      November 30, 2011 at 6:36 am | # | Reply
      
      Christian Bale is a pretty nice piece of ass himself. http://www.wildaboutmovies.com/images_4/ChristianBale.jpg
MrGBH

July 9, 2010 at 7:10 pm | # | Reply

Wolverine, especially now that he’s got his memories of 160+ years of fighting back.
Rodrigo

July 20, 2010 at 9:11 pm | # | Reply

Both are God Ex Machinas
Peregrin

September 18, 2010 at 4:38 am | # | Reply

Batman. Because he’s the goddamn Batman.
Rachel

September 20, 2010 at 2:28 pm | # | Reply

Batman. He’s Batman.
Xain

September 21, 2010 at 7:35 pm | # | Reply

With a enough science Batman can beat anyone
Rigugonkai

October 2, 2010 at 6:59 pm | # | Reply

batman can make anything funny wolverine can make anything look better by comparison so id say batman wins by default.
Tetsukalian

October 6, 2010 at 12:40 pm | # | Reply

I think Wolverine would massacre Batman, though batman would put up a good fight. But i mean, come on, Adamantiam claws against a bullet proof batsuit? No contest. though i love them both.
Aetharion

November 24, 2010 at 3:41 pm | # | Reply

Batman. Wolverine runs out of breath.
Enderkap

November 27, 2010 at 4:28 am | # | Reply

Batman! In the end… Wolverine never really wins.
Xandra

December 7, 2010 at 6:46 am | # | Reply

But… Wolverine can heal himself, but I love them both so much! AAAAHHHHH!
Batman

December 22, 2010 at 9:04 pm | # | Reply

I’m Batman.
Julianagra

January 3, 2011 at 9:24 pm | # | Reply

Wolverine wins the battle.
Batman wins the war.
Herp

January 16, 2011 at 3:13 am | # | Reply

Oh, come on. Batman. Always. He’s got staying power, and Wolfie would have to kill the Batman to actually win. Doing that violates the Comics Code, and Batman would win anyway. It’s more of a defaulting victory, sure, but there’s no way the Goddamn Batman is going to lose to a punk like Wolfie.
Tokyo

January 18, 2011 at 9:59 pm | # | Reply

Is it sad for me to say that most of the people I know are like this. You ask them for advise and in responce they ask you who is the greatest badass?
Doctor Who

January 26, 2011 at 9:17 am | # | Reply

Batman. Dude beats Superman on a semi-regular basis.

Wolverine’s not even very powerful by X-Men standards. It’s just that he can get back up afterward. Other heroes have to make do with not suffering lethal wounds in the first place. Who’s cooler, the guy who can take a bullet to the head, or the guy who can avoid taking a bullet to the head?

Only reason he lasts is that he’s popular. Magneto could grab him by the skeleton and fling him into space. Nightcrawler could embed him in a wall. Cyclops just has to look at him. Rogue just has to touch him. Jean just has to think at him…

Batman, on the other hand, is frigging BATMAN.
- Stugol
  
  August 10, 2011 at 7:31 pm | # | Reply
  
  Granted, Wolverine isn’t so great when compared to other X-men. Batman, however, is a rich guy with a vendetta in bulletproof armour. He has no special abilities whatsoever. Granted, he has some nice technology, and plenty of hand-to-hand skill, but come on… isn’t Wolverine practically indestructible?
  
  I’ve never really seen the point of Batman. Superman’s way too powerful to be interesting (and also cringemakingly patriotic and goody-two-shoes), but Batman has the opposite problem. He’s mundanely normal. He’s like Iron Man without the awesome suit. Take his car and his body armour away, and all you’re left with is a skilled hand-to-hand fighter. Hardly enough to take down someone who can regenerate and ALSO cut holes in sheet steel.
  
  Any questions?
  - Doctor_Who
    
    January 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm | # | Reply
    
    Take away Wolverine’s healing factor and adamantium claws, and he’s just a short hairy Canadian with questionable hygiene.
    
    Take away Batman’s money, costume, and technological goodies…and he’s still Batman.
    
    Dude trained and studied until he was an expert martial artist, supreme survivalist, and the world’s greatest detective. Wolverine is the best at what he does. Batman is the best at damn near everything.
MattHKemp

February 20, 2011 at 8:41 am | # | Reply

Until Wolverine can breathe in space, there’s no competition.
- Joebo
  
  November 5, 2011 at 10:59 pm | # | Reply
  
  He would actually be able to survive in space, it would just be really painful for him.
  - Rossamo
    
    April 10, 2012 at 3:24 am | # | Reply
    
    wolverine can heal, sure, but he can’t produce oxygen in the vacuum of space. batman can breathe in space.
Kelsey

March 21, 2011 at 9:55 pm | # | Reply

That question is infinitely more important.
Romanticide

April 10, 2011 at 11:36 pm | # | Reply

The universe would explode as the first punch was shot.
- Joebo
  
  November 5, 2011 at 11:00 pm | # | Reply
  
  You don’t shoot punches, you throw them.
Tirien

April 23, 2011 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

I’m Batman, I can breathe in space.
Dusk

May 14, 2011 at 2:03 am | # | Reply

Give Batman enough preptime and he’ll win.

If the two of them are just suddenly thrust into some sort of arena with no time to prepare before the right starts, Wolverine would win.
- Higurashi
  
  August 4, 2011 at 12:11 pm | # | Reply
  
  This. Mind you, Batman wouldn’t be able to kill Wolvie, just win the fight. Wolvie would happily kill Batman.
KB_SBI

June 17, 2011 at 7:17 am | # | Reply

Logan may can’t breath in space… But dude is practically on every Marvel team EVER and at all times (there are probably as much Wolverines in the Marvel Universe than GL’s exist in the DCU). And since a singel Wolverine is hard to kill a team of all Wolvie’s could take down Bats I say.
phildog

July 8, 2011 at 2:55 pm | # | Reply

Logal, hands down. Bruce wane can throw a punch, but he can’t break adamantium, and because of his logan’s healing factor he can recover in less than a second from the kinds of disabling attacks that Bruce uses.

In addition, batman pulls his punches, he may not have a problem with hurting people, but he won’t do anything that could prove fatal. Logan on the other hand has killed many, many people. Plus, the claws.
Icalasari

August 4, 2011 at 10:12 pm | # | Reply

Batman

Because he has Anti Wolverine Bat Spray somewhere
Exposition

September 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm | # | Reply

Batman. I don’t care that Wolverine is the biggest mary sue ever and can heal himself to the point of invinicibility and is practically perfect, he’s friggin batman.
Magnus369

October 2, 2011 at 7:10 pm | # | Reply

so wait, at this time, does wolverine still have that stupid unbreakable skeleton, or not? sides, with the way that magneto owned logan at one point, I would think bats + coil of wire + chunk of steel == wolverine screwed.

without the skeleton, might be a bit tougher, but honestly if it’s the darker more screwed up bats… just break bones and let them heal wrong repeatedly till wolverine winds up a crippled mass of right angled bones and slack muscle. While yes, I’m sure wolverine kicks much ass, remember he’s a marvel character- they all get crippled to useless in the most stupid ways within 2-3 issues, and this is just after they’ve done something so bad ass awesome impossible too.

I’m waiting for she-hulk to get completely dominated by a bunch of girl scouts right after she takes out the Canadian military. You know it’ll happen. Marvel/Disney will make it happen. and then, the lil mermaid will totally kick iron man’s ass.
- Magnus369
  
  October 2, 2011 at 7:16 pm | # | Reply
  
  oh holy fuck of all that is lame. just read the wiki on wolverine for the first time in a couple years. apocalypse fixes wolverine?! and blah blah… GUH. I’ll stick with web comics. marvel and dc both suck much ass.
- foL
  
  May 7, 2013 at 10:37 am | # | Reply
  
  THE LITTLE MERMAID VERSUS IRON MAN.
  
  I would so read/watch this!
ajm5007

December 11, 2011 at 8:20 pm | # | Reply

Wolverine would win the first fight, but then Batman would find his weakness and exploit it perfectly in all subsequent encounters.
gripemaster

December 16, 2011 at 5:03 am | # | Reply

It depends on who wrote the fight.
Andrusi

April 9, 2012 at 9:54 am | # | Reply

The second they touch, they merge into a singular overwrought Memetic Badass with the ability to literally pull anyone’s weakness out of his ass. Batverine proceeds to pointlessly murder every superpowered individual he finds, in over-the-top Internet argument fashion, before he faces someone whose weakness is constipation and the resulting logical paradox causes him to explode.
- afj
  
  May 28, 2012 at 11:16 pm | # | Reply
  
  ^THIS^
thomas0comer

August 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm | # | Reply

Marvel and DC would win, for the craploads of money they’d make off of a storyline in which the two fight.
Yue Ryong

September 11, 2012 at 9:15 am | # | Reply

Dark claw crushes both of them. ^_^
Kernanator

October 14, 2012 at 7:59 pm | # | Reply

The readers, of course.
Beastlybro7

February 20, 2013 at 6:30 pm | # | Reply

Wolverine would win if batman wasnt batman
moonofmars

March 14, 2013 at 5:06 pm | # | Reply

I love Wolverine <3 xD
Valdrax

April 7, 2013 at 9:13 pm | # | Reply

So, since this guy has appeared twice, who is he?
Nameless Junkie

April 12, 2013 at 11:17 am | # | Reply

Batman: I am Batman.
Wolverine: …
Batman: …
Wolverine: GOD, TAKE MY MONEY, TAKE EVERYTHING! JUST SPARE ME PLEASE! *Uncontrollable crying*

Shortpacked! by David Willis

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