Howard in the hizzouse.on October 20, 2005 at 1:18 am
If you read the front page, you’ll find Blank Label Comics has adopted a new sticker. Yeah, revered Schlock Mercenary has joined forces in our battle against evil, so this time we promise it’s not scratch-and-sniff. (Though Ugly Hill’s sticker would counteract with potpourri.)
I am super excited. And honored! Howard Taylor is like the super awesomest guy on the planet. (Though I hear he’s not bald anymore. That’s a bummer. Give me my oldskool Taylor, I say.) True story: At Comic-Con 2002, Josh Phillips and I were stranded hotel-less on that last meandering Sunday night. And he calls up and is all like, “Dude, you should totally come over. Balls.” Okay, he didn’t say balls, but he did say “Free of charge.” Holy crap, this man is unimaginably generous. Now that’s a man. If he had invoked balls, I’m certain they would have been manly.
And, sure, he’s not just nice. He’s one of the smartest, most level-headed nyucks there is. His business acumen is Level 10. His balls, when invoked, are not only manly, but filled with a gooey know-how center. And huge. You could play basketball with them.
Seriously, I totally look up to the guy. If I’m ever half the man he is, I’ll be pretty satisfied. And I’ve never seen his family, but I’ll assume for the sake of this post that his wife is hot and his kids are outstanding. Outstanding and filled with genes from, you guessed it, Howard’s legendary balls. Ha ha, and we snatched him! Nuts to you, losers!
Just remember, when you talk to him, his face is up there.